10 Commitments That Will Make You a Better Parent ADMIN on Dec 11, 2014 at 11:19 pm Being a parent is tough. Most of us feel like we could do a better job, but resolving to be more patient rarely works. That’s because sometimes the first step to being a better parent is actually about how we treat ourselves. We can only give what we have inside. And if we can’t manage our own emotions. we can’t expect our kids to learn to manage theirs. But if you want to become a more inspired parent – and a happier person – that’s completely possible. I’ve seen countless parents do it. How? Step by step. Start by committing yourself. Envision what your life will look like when you keep this commitment, and how you’ll feel. Notice how much closer you feel to your child. Notice how much happier your child is, and how much more cooperative. Revisit your commitment daily, including your image of how keeping that commitment makes you feel. (You’re programming your subconscious.) When you mess up (and you will, if you’re human), offer yourself total compassion, apologize to your child, and take a positive step in your desired direction. Two steps forward, one step back still takes you where you want to go. Make a small positive change every day. Find support and give yourself constant cheerleading. At first you’ll see small changes. But sooner or later, small changes add up to big changes. Wondering where to begin? Here are 10 Commitments that will make you a better parent – and a happier person. Start with one, or commit to all ten. I’ll be here to support you each step of the way. 1. Commit to taking care of yourself and staying centered so you can be the happy, patient, encouraging parent your child deserves. That means integrating daily sustainable self-nurturing into your life: Go to bed earlier so you’re better rested, eat healthfully to maintain your mood, transform any inner negative voices into encouraging ones, and slow down your pace so you can enjoy your life. Most important of all, commit to managing yourself. When your emotions are dysregulated, you’re in fight or flight, and your child looks like the enemy. Calm yourself before you engage with your child. 2. Commit to loving the one you’re with. The one thing we know for certain about child development is that kids who feel loved and cherished thrive. That doesn’t mean kids who ARE loved – plenty of kids whose parents love them don’t thrive. The kids who thrive are the ones who FEEL loved and cherished for exactly who they are. Every child is unique, so it takes a different approach for that child to feel seen and loved. The hard work for us as parents is accepting who our child is, warts and all – and cherishing him or her for being that person, even while guiding behavior. The secret? See it from his perspective, use a positive lens, and celebrate every step in the right direction. 3. Commit to staying connected. Separation happens. That’s why we have to repeatedly reconnect. Remember that quality time is about connection, not teaching, so it’s mostly unstructured. Hug your child first thing every morning and when you say goodbye. When you’re reunited later in the day, spend fifteen minutes solely focused on your child. (What do you do in that 15 minutes? Listen, commiserate, hug, roughhouse, laugh, listen some more.) Stop working before dinner time so you can devote your evening to your family. Eat dinner together. Have a chat and a silent snuggle at bedtime every night with each child. 4. Commit to role modeling respect. Want to raise kids who are considerate and respectful, right through the teen years? Take a deep breath, and speak to them respectfully. Not always easy when you’re angry, so remember the cardinal rules of managing your emotions with kids: You’re the role model, don’t take it personally, and this too shall pass! 5. Commit to teaching emotional intelligence. In addition to modeling emotional self management, we help kids learn to manage their emotions by: 10 Commitments That Will Make You a Better Parent ADMIN on Dec 11, 2014 at 11:19 pm Being a parent is tough. Most of us feel like we could do a better job, but resolving to be more patient rarely works. That’s because sometimes the first step to being a better parent is actually about how we treat ourselves. We can only give what we have inside. And if we can’t manage our own emotions. we can’t expect our kids to learn to manage theirs. But if you want to become a more inspired parent – and a happier person – that’s completely possible. I’ve seen countless parents do it. How? Step by step. Start by committing yourself. Envision what your life will look like when you keep this commitment, and how you’ll feel. Notice how much closer you feel to your child. Notice how much happier your child is, and how much more cooperative. Revisit your commitment daily, including your image of how keeping that commitment makes you feel. (You’re programming your subconscious.) When you mess up (and you will, if you’re human), offer yourself total compassion, apologize to your child, and take a positive step in your desired direction. Two steps forward, one step back still takes you where you want to go. Make a small positive change every day. Find support and give yourself constant cheerleading. At first you’ll see small changes. But sooner or later, small changes add up to big changes. Wondering where to begin? Here are 10 Commitments that will make you a better parent – and a happier person. Start with one, or commit to all ten. I’ll be here to support you each step of the way. 1. Commit to taking care of yourself and staying centered so you can be the happy, patient, encouraging parent your child deserves. That means integrating daily sustainable self-nurturing into your life: Go to bed earlier so you’re better rested, eat healthfully to maintain your mood, transform any inner negative voices into encouraging ones, and slow down your pace so you can enjoy your life. Most important of all, commit to managing yourself. When your emotions are dysregulated, you’re in fight or flight, and your child looks like the enemy. Calm yourself before you engage with your child. 2. Commit to loving the one you’re with. The one thing we know for certain about child development is that kids who feel loved and cherished thrive. That doesn’t mean kids who ARE loved – plenty of kids whose parents love them don’t thrive. The kids who thrive are the ones who FEEL loved and cherished for exactly who they are. Every child is unique, so it takes a different approach for that child to feel seen and loved. The hard work for us as parents is accepting who our child is, warts and all – and cherishing him or her for being that person, even while guiding behavior. The secret? See it from his perspective, use a positive lens, and celebrate every step in the right direction. 3. Commit to staying connected. Separation happens. That’s why we have to repeatedly reconnect. Remember that quality time is about connection, not teaching, so it’s mostly unstructured. Hug your child first thing every morning and when you say goodbye. When you’re reunited later in the day, spend fifteen minutes solely focused on your child. (What do you do in that 15 minutes? Listen, commiserate, hug, roughhouse, laugh, listen some more.) Stop working before dinner time so you can devote your evening to your family. Eat dinner together. Have a chat and a silent snuggle at bedtime every night with each child. 4. Commit to role modeling respect. Want to raise kids who are considerate and respectful, right through the teen years? Take a deep breath, and speak to them respectfully. Not always easy when you’re angry, so remember the cardinal rules of managing your emotions with kids: You’re the role model, don’t take it personally, and this too shall pass! 5. Commit to teaching emotional intelligence. In addition to modeling emotional self management, we help kids learn to manage their emotions by:
Posted on: Fri, 12 Dec 2014 06:26:16 +0000
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