2 October 20013 To the Sergeant-at-Arms the House of Representatives, My friends and I are in Washington DC on vacation and while we understand that the Smithsonian is closed, congress is still open and we would like to get tickets to see the House of Representatives in action. Unlike most government employees they are getting paid so we think we should be able to see how our money is being spent. Unfortunately, we do have a few requests though because we are a group that has what could be best termed “special needs.” These are all conditions that are recognized under the Americans With Disabilities Act so I believe that our requests are both right and reasonable. First of all we will need to ride up the gallery floor via an elevator. We are not as young as we used to be and the stairs would probably be too much for all of us at our time of life Second one of our group members has difficulty seeing clearly, and while this should not be enough of a problem to keep him out of congress, plenty of other people there are shortsighted, we would like to request special seating. Something that is in the vicinity of the speaker’s chair would fit the bill nicely. Also another member of our group needs to lean on heavy objects in order to get around so we will need to bring a device to support him. He doesn’t use a cane or wheel chair, instead he makes use of a large tar barrel . Tragically my friend also suffers from a thyroid condition and as such he gets cold very easily. As a result, the tar barrel will be heated. I realize that a barrel of hot tar could possibly be problematic, we promise if any of it falls on the floor we will pay to have it cleaned up. We are willing to negotiate on any other damage, but only for its real value to the nation. Finally, one of our friends has a bad back and needs to bring a rather large feather pillow, weighing about 200 pounds, so that he can sit comfortably. We will need to be allowed to bring this object into the House gallery as well. In closing, let me say that if we damage or destroy any fixture in the House Chamber we are willing to do whatever is necessary to repair carpets, woodwork, furniture or light fixtures that might be damaged during our visit. We are confident that the House of Representatives contains nothing else of any value whatsoever worth preserving. If we do damage something in the House chamber we look forward to clearing it out. Please let us know when we can show up. Yours in Christ, Brad Marmalard
Posted on: Wed, 02 Oct 2013 23:32:14 +0000
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