28th January (Tuesday) Next NVC Practice Session + Your Weekly Reflection Dear friends, We Invite you to join us this Tuesday the 28th January 2014 for a Practice Session on NVC ( Non Violent Communication) ALL ARE WELCOME......... Time: 7 - 9 PM Venue: X-29, Haus Khas, LGF New Delhi - 11 00 16 Phone: + 91 (11) 42657781 Facilitator:The Group Contribution: Rs 100/- per session. (This may be paid at the front desk of the Centre before the start of the session.) Please inform in advance in case you are bringing any newcomers along. Newcomers need to come in at least half an hour in advance i.e. by 6:30 pm for introduction to NVC.( to read more on NVC please see text below Your Weekly Reflection) Kindly confirm via return email ,phone or sms whether or not if you are able to make it , and please feel free to pass on this message to anyone who might be interested In case of any queries,do call the on the numbers given below Looking forward to connecting & practicing with you. Have a beautiful day, With love, Meenu YOUR WEEKLY REFLECTION: . . . truth could never be wholly contained in words. All of us know it: At the same moment the mouth is speaking one thing, the heart is saying another . . . —Catherine Marshall Meeting Our Need for Honesty I can’t begin to tell you how many times I hear people accuse others of being dishonest. The search for the truth can keep people in pain for years. I used to think that I was being honest if I didn’t say something untruthful, but I could decide to withhold some of the truth. Later, I began to think that withholding the truth was dishonest. Honesty is in the eye of the beholder. My needs for honesty are met when I can look people in the eye and speak my truth, or when I decide that speaking my truth will be more harmful than withholding it. If I find myself ducking behind a display at the grocery store to avoid addressing an unresolved issue with someone, my need for honesty has not been met. If I am worried that two people might get together and compare notes about something I have said, I have not met my need for honesty. Each one of us decides whether we are living in ways that meet our need for honesty. And we each decide whether someone else’s actions meet it. Try not to spend so much time seeking the truth. Instead focus more attention on whether your need for honesty has been met. When it is, you can live more freely. Be aware today of whether you are meeting your need for honesty. This reflection is an excerpt from Peaceful Living: Daily Meditations for Living with Love, Healing, and Compassion by Mary Mackenzie. For further details and information on NVC - please visit the following websites: cnvc.org OR READ HERE : AN INTRODUCTION TO NVC NVC is a specific approach to communication—speaking and listening—that leads us to give from the heart, connecting with ourselves and others in a way that allows our natural compassion to flow. NVC is founded on language and communication skills that strengthen our ability to remain human, even under very trying circumstances. It is a process of communication, a language of compassion. NVC guides us in reframing how we express ourselves and hear others. Our words become conscious responses. We are led to express ourselves with honesty and clarity, while simultaneously paying others respectful and empathic attention. NVC trains us to observe carefully and be able to specify behaviors and conditions that are affecting us. When we focus on clarifying what is being observed, felt and needed rather than on diagnosing and judging, we discover the depth of our own compassion. Cultural conditioning leads me to focus attention on places where I am unlikely to get what I want. NVC helps train my attention—to shine the light of my consciousness—on places that have the potential to yield what I am seeking. What I want in my life is compassion, a flow between myself and others based on a mutual giving from the heart. When we give from the heart, it benefits both giver and receiver. If we stay with the principles of NVC, motivated solely to give and receive compassionately, and do everything we can to let others know this is our only motive, they will join us in the process, and eventually we will be able to respond compassionately with one another. THE NVC PROCESS To give from the heart, we focus the light of consciousness on four areas—the four components of NVC. 1. We observe what is actually happening in a situation: what are others doing that are either enriching or not enriching in our life? Articulate the observation without any judgement or evaluation. Simply state what people are doing that we like or do not like. 2. Next, state how we feel when we observe this action: hurt, amused, angry, happy, joyful, etc. 3. What needs of ours are connected to the feelings we have identified? 4. A very specific request is made immediately after, which addresses what we are wanting from the other/myself that would enrich our lives. Part of NVC is to express these four pieces of information clearly. The other aspect of NVC is to receive the same four pieces of information from others. We connect with them by sensing what they are observing, feeling and needing and then discover what would enrich their lives by receiving the fourth piece, the request. As we keep our attention focused on these, we establish a flow of communication, back and forth, until compassion manifests naturally: what I am observing, feeling, needing and my request to enrich my life: what you are observing, feeling, needing and what you are requesting to enrich your life… NVC doesnt consist of a set formula but adapts to various situations as well as personal and cultural styles. The essence of NVC is to be found in our consciousness of these four components, not in the actual words that are exchanged. When we use NVC in our interactions, we become grounded in our natural state of compassion. NVC fosters deep listening, respect and empathy, and engenders a mutual desire to give from the heart adapted from Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D. Published by PuddleDancer Press
Posted on: Mon, 27 Jan 2014 05:24:12 +0000