A Bagby Family Easter-BLUE EGGS: Once, when I was a child, it was - TopicsExpress



          

A Bagby Family Easter-BLUE EGGS: Once, when I was a child, it was time to dye Easter eggs. My momma got the Easter egg dye and all us kids gathered around the table to dip eggs in coffee cups. It was supposed to be a family affair and momma told my dad that he needed to be there. She kept fussing about him not being there. The old man was a no show, preferring to go to the NCO club for a few cold ones. He came home later with a snoot full and she was livid that he didnt show. Hes a sound sleeper and he navigated his way down the hall to go to bed with her following him and just a fussing at him as he pulled the covers over himself and settled into an intoxicated snooze. Then she asked me to get her the cup with the blue dye in it, and, although not knowing why she wanted it, I complied. She disappeared into her bedroom and I remember hearing her giggle as she came out and handed me back the cup. What I didnt know then, that I know now, was that she dipped his scrotum into the dye as he lay there in his stupor. It turns out that the very next day he awoke and went into the bathroom to piss and low and behold, his boys were BLUE! I do remember him coming out if the bathroom in a rush and throwing his clothes on in record time. He barked the tires driving off on his way to medical. The rest of the story was recanted by my mother when I was older. He checked in with the medic demanding to see a doctor because something was wrong down there, he said wiggling his finger at the ground. The doctor came in and asked him what the problem was and he explained his rather delicate condition. So the doc takes a gander and looking surprised, grabs the high intensity light for a better look. He chuckles Sargeant, I believe you have been the victim of a prank Dad asks him if hes sure and the doctor shines the light on his sack revealing splash marks. The attending medic busts out laughing, as a sigh of relief came over my father. Then, connecting the dots in his brain pan, dad races home. I distinctly remember the ongoing argument he came through the door BARB! BARB! WHAT IN THE HELL DID YOU DO TO ME? Momma laughed at him and told him he had his priorities wrong and shouldnt be late for family events. Poor guy that story went all over the base. But I will say this, the very next Easter, dad was dipping eggs with us kids. He even showed up early! You dont mess with Bagby women!
Posted on: Sat, 19 Apr 2014 11:02:49 +0000

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