Anonymous Please share with the group.... its long, but will give hope, i believe, to those who are in this fight... this is an email from my 13 yr old step-daughter to her bio mom.... I have her permission to share it. My husband has primary custody of her now, and her mother has every-other weekend allocated contact. But since May, when she first came to officially live with us, my step-daughter has refused hardly any contact with her mom for a variety of reasons.... This shows how parental alienation can backfire on the alienator.... Never give up hope. Take the high road. Children can be very observant on their own. Just love them immensely and let them realize who the alienator is all on their own. It can happen. I hope this gives others hope. HXXXXX 2:39 PM (48 minutes ago) to XXX.XXXXX Yes, I have your new number. I am choosing not to call it. I didnt even want Dad to set up this email because I dont want emails from you. Also, registering the number to [boyfriends] name doesnt help the trust either. You demand we respect you, but you lie so much. Youre still trying to hurt Dad by keeping [sister] and [brother] away from him as much as possible. The worst part is, you dont even care how much you hurting your own kids! Whats to respect?? You miss me? Really? Then why didnt you come to my last football game? You stayed home all day and cleaned the house. Guess you werent missing me that much, huh? Or were you more focused on how much you didnt want [siblings] to see Dad? Lets see.... You gave my bedroom to [sister] as soon as the court said I could live with Dad. Was that because you were missing me so much? You gave my iPod to [brother]. An odd way to show youre missing me.... Youre keeping my birthday cards from Nana and [grandparents] hostage, but then again when is that anything new? Did you enjoy my $50 birthday check from [grandparents]? You missed all of my football scrimmages and games in the month of August and most of September. But you expect me to believe youre missing me... You cancelled my doctors appointment because you were mad at Dad. So much for your actions being in my best interest. All because you didnt get what you wanted in court. So dont try to say you miss me now. I dont believe you. You love me to the moon and back? Thats funny..... You said I would never make it as a fashion designer.... was that said with love? You said I could get contacts, but since Im living with Dad now I cant. Was that said with love? You said if I want to go to college, I better get Dad to pay because you wont. With love, right? Youve been hurting us for years just because you hate Dad. Is that how you show us love? Was it love for us that made you cheat on Dad with XXXX? Was it love for us that made you break up our family to go live with XXXX? Was it love for us that you made us move 11 times in 7 years to live with your many many boyfriends? Was it love for us that made you try to keep Dad away from us, and make him miss our school stuff because YOU didnt want him there? Was love the reason youve spent years trying to make us hate Dad? Btw, hows that working out for you? Seems to be backfiring if you ask me. [Sister] doesnt want to live with you because of how you treat her and Dad, and it was the same for me. And now I live with Dad. If you truly love her, you would let her live with him. You would stop lying to her that its not up to you. Yes it is. You could signed an agreement right now and let her live with Dad. You just dont want to. [Counselor] told me how the court cant do anything if you and Dad write up an agreement, so stop lying. Youre keeping [sister] & [brother] from seeing Dad every weekend like they want and like they have been since you and Dad got divorced. You dont care how much its hurting them. Is that your idea of love? Youre refusing to celebrate [sisters] birthday because she still wants to live with Dad. With love? You said youre only required to support her basic needs. Is that love? I said I wanted you to stop bringing your boyfriend because hes a jerk, and you showed up twice with him anyway... is that love? You have a not-so-funny way of showing your love. And you wonder why we all want to live with Dad. You let your boyfriends treat us like crap. Dad would NEVER let [dads wife] treat us like that because we are more important to him than anyone else. Your boyfriend is a bully and a jerk and a horrible father. As long as he is around, I will not be. Im glad he cant see [his daughter] anymore. Shes better off without him and you. You do realize I am still gay, right? Nothing about that has changed. You made your opinions of that VERY clear. I had a girlfriend for a little while btw, but we broke up.... not that you would care or even support me in that. And thank you, the book The Fault in Our Stars was just fine as a straight romance... just cuz its a straight romance doesnt mean it disgusts me. But you love me, right? Before I moved in with Dad, you tried to make me believe he couldnt take care of me, and my life would be terrible with him. Remember that? You said I would be calling you to save me. Was that said with love? We might not have [moms boyfriends] money like you do, but thats ok because I still have everything I need. You love us? [Sister] sits at school for 45 minutes after school ends, then rides the 2nd bus for over half an hour because youre too lazy to go get her and you dont actually want any extra time with her. You just wanted to take her away from Dad. Remember when you tried to get me and [sister] to write letters to the court saying that we didnt want to see Dad every weekend? That was done with love, right? Or what about telling me that I lived with you because Dad traded me for the truck and furniture? Let me guess, you said that because you love me.... Always saying bad things about Dad and [dads wife]? Telling me and [sister] that [dads wife] had an ex-boyfriend who said she was psycho? XXXXX? I mean really, what was the point of that? It certainly wasnt because you love us. I know this is probably not what you want to hear, but Dad actually cares about us and truly wants us. Even if he disagrees, he still listens and respects my feelings. He revolves his whole day around me and [step-brother]. No matter what he is there for us. But with you, its just an act. I AM doing well! Great in fact! Thanks for asking! I LOVE living in [dads town] and going to the school and being loved unconditionally for who I am. Im on the civil rights board in school, in advanced art, in a pilot program called Humanities, in the play, in football, and in reading groups at the library. Also, again, STILL GAY! and thats why I am the gay representative in civil rights. But I dont think you REALLY care about any of that at all. You said you would give me space, but that was a lie too. I wish you would just leave me alone. My life is so much easier and less stressful living with Dad. I wish you loved me enough to realize that. Dad and [dads wife] tell me to talk to you about my feelings... well now I have. Arent you glad I did?? They also ask when I think Ill be ready to visit you, but I dont see that happening anytime soon. You are STILL the person I fought so hard to get away from. And now youre doing it to [sister] because you cant do it to me anymore. [Sister] cries because she misses Dad so much. Did you know that? Do you even care? We love Dad. You need to just deal with it. Just because you divorced him doesnt mean we did. He will always be our Dad. You need to let [sister] and [brother] see Dad as much as they want because they love him and miss him, and because hes a great Dad. You have NO right to keep them from him. If you truly love them, you will stop hurting them like this. THAT would be love. When youre ready to write an agreement that lets them see Dad as much as they want, or lets [sister] live with Dad..... Ill be ready to see you. Hows that? If you love and miss me as much as you say.... and you love [sister] and [brother]... you will do this. Otherwise, you will be proving that you dont love us enough to let go of your hatred for Dad. In which case you simply dont love us. As long as you keep [sister] and [brother] from Dad, I will keep myself from you. Arent you glad you emailed me? Hxxxxx
Posted on: Thu, 02 Oct 2014 00:39:23 +0000
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