April 20 falls on Easter this year what a day 10 years ago I held my sons lifeless body asking why me and still trying to be strong for my daughter Yes Our Mother Mary played a major role at this time as I reminded myself of what pain she herself must have been threw by watching her son be accused then prisoner then given the crowds choice to free him they but him to death she then had to deal with what was about to happen as Jesus struggled to carry the cross the very cross he was to be nailed onto unimaginable pain for him AND her As a mother the moment you know you are pregnant you plan for future and anticipate the what ifs of life so when my world came crashing down on April 20 every dream of my future with the twins was smashed I recall even knowing he was not breathing asking them to pls pls keep trying they put me in one ambulance and Michael in other why I dont know once we got to hospital my paramedic looked over to other paramedic and he shook his head no I knew that was it he was indeed gone and all I wanted was to hold him they said my health was at risk and had to get me stabilized they put me in hallway as I later there I got to hear all the families adding to their families when I heard their babies cried my heart hurt it hurt so hard u dis not want to see a pregnant woman or newborn the sound reminds me of that day I did finally get to hold Michael I had him baptized and I apologized that I could not protect him I was rushed and wished I could have had more time and wish I got pictures HE WAS TAKEN AWAY I WAS BROUGHT TO A ROOM where we hoped and waited we prayed Kaitlyn would h Po lo on and not join her brother Michael was always the squirmy one and always kicked is foot into my left side Kaitlyn was always mellow and even ultrasounds she never really wanted to cooperate so who knew had this was gonna go all I know is I prayed and prayed the hardest I ever have done what I said was God pls pls if you are planning to have Kaitlyn join Michael pls be sure to do by tomorrow night or next morning so I would be able to bury them in casket together They have been together all this time they should have eternity together ♡♡♡♡° Now to say things happen for a reason if not for the twins loss Marvin Erik or Samantha would not be a part of our family so is it a total somber day not really it is a miracle that God let us meet our angels and let them miss the cruel world and join family in heaven and then we got to love Marvin Erik Samantha with our whole heart ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡so in a way God Blessed me with all of this as I have angels who watch over me and angels who help me more then I help them and I love them soon much HAPPY ANGEL DAY MICHAEL JOSEPH ♡♡♢♢♢♡
Posted on: Sun, 20 Apr 2014 05:41:54 +0000
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