As I was attending mass this morning I was wondering, am I a good Catholic and more importantly a good Christian? When I was three months old I didn’t say to my parents; “Take me over to St. Peter’s Cathedral I need to be baptized Catholic,” that decision was made for me by my parents. When I was 7 years old I don’t remember discussing with anyone about my desire to attend a Catholic parochial school. I was literally yank out of public school during my first week in 1st grade. Taken over, again, to St Peter’s and introduced to Sister Hilda Marie. During the next eight years of Sundays and Holy Days of Obligation it wasn’t going to church voluntarily, it was my ass better be sitting in that pew or I had to deal with the nuns the next day. After grade school, even though I attended 3 years at a Catholic high school, I began my separation from God. My first marriage was in a Catholic church and my two children from that union were baptized Catholic, but I was not practicing my faith. I stayed away from religion until my son, from a 2nd marriage, came into my life. He was also baptized Catholic and he received 8 years of formal Catholic education. During this time my wife, son and I were attending mass on a regular bases. Unfortunately, once again, I was only attending because of a parental duty to my son and assisting my wife during her conversion to Christianity. I knew in my heart if it was just me I wouldn’t be sitting in that pew on Sunday morning. After my wife passed in 2004 I tried to maintain a relationship with God, but I didn’t have my parents, nuns or my family telling me I better get out of bed and attend mass. It was all up to me and I just said the hell with it. Approximately four years ago I found myself sitting in St John the Baptist – Holy Angels Parish rectory having a face to face confessional with Father Fiore. I, on my own free will, needed to come back to my faith. I try to attend church on a regular bases, but I must admit I’m not 100% in attendance. I’m trying to forgive those who, in my opinion, have caused me pain and suffering and once again I have not been 100% successful in that endeavor, but I am asking God for his help. So as I was sitting in church this morning I found myself questioning why I was there. Was it a selfish motive? Was it because I now know the reality of life and was finally aware of my mortality? Knowing that any day my time here on Earth would be at an end and I better get my act together before it’s too late. After some reflection I know no matter what the reason was as to why I was there, it was all good and God was happy to have me back. Additionally I believe that it’s important for all Christians, of all faiths, to stand and let the world know that we believe and we are not ashamed of who we are. I’m not saying I will stand on a street corner or attend a social event and start preaching but I will say without hesitation or shame, if I’m asked, I’m a Catholic, with many faults, and I will never convert over to your ideology. To my brother and sisters who are making the ultimate sacrifice for their belief there isn’t much I can do right now except pray, hope my government will come to your aid and not make it easy for them if and when they come for me. Just something I had to get off my chest, God bless.
Posted on: Sun, 14 Sep 2014 15:08:56 +0000
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