Ashley Lynn Iserman The joy you just had brought us, Now feels so far away. From positive thoughts to prayers to god And Still you could not stay. Lying under a single spot light, On white sheets and a hospital bed... She said there is no heartbeat, Bad news; Our babys dead. Im sorry she added, Just let this sink in... Closing the door behind her, The whole room started to spin. How could this have happened, I just dont understand!! We both loved our baby And this baby was planned! My heart felt in pieces, I couldnt help but weep. Our precious little baby, A secret I refuse to keep I try to reassure myself Maybe a blessing in disguise But Ill never get to kiss your cheeks, Or comfort any cries. Our plans, they changed & you were taken too soon Inside me, Your beautiful heartbeat Hummed its last tune Fists clenched bearing pain, The tears start to pour... As the blood fills the toilet And my pregnancys no more. Now the pain that I feel Burns so deep no one sees Because how could a mother Fall down weak at her knees Exhaustion consumes me Yet more tears still flow I look in the mirror, pale skin replaces my pregnancy glow The last memory of you, Was the saddest of all... Nothing to do to save you, My baby, so innocent and small. My stomach, now empty I cry with no baby to hold. As your mother I was your protector, Yet its not my fault Im told... How terribly I miss you Now that reality has sunk in, A sting with the sharpest pain Thinking about what could have been... In circles I go Like Im playing on repeat, I thought I had come to terms But once again, more defeat. Another burning breakdown the hows and whys, they come. The tears, of course they follow, My heart pounding like a drum. Unfortunately, The thing about grief Is its too painful to feel. When we think weve gotten through it, Theres more pain to reveal. What a bittersweet blessing, To know you will never see sin, You will never know pain, Just the feeling of my love from within. Because Every moment you were loved, Wanted more than anything. And You will never be forgotten, In our hearts your soul will sing. Though your memory remains, time passes and Its easier to cope. Someday I will know you my child Until then, I hold out hope. It breaks my heart to tell this story, so many women have already known... To all the other families like mine, Just know youre not alone.
Posted on: Thu, 17 Apr 2014 15:42:21 +0000
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