Brate, not a day goes by that I do not think of you. I miss you a great deal, more than words could describe. The other day at my teaching placement, I encountered a young student who reminded me a great deal of you. I spoke with this student after class one day about his passion for airplanes and he was telling me about his involvement with the Air Cadets and his dream to be a pilot one day. I was instantly floored and lost for words. I could see in this young boy a similar fire and passion in his eyes to reach out and touch the surly bonds of the earth and the high heavens and I have no doubt he will one day achieve his dream because you instilled in me the belief that if you set your mind to something and devote every fibre of your being and existence to it, you can achieve your wildest dreams and goals. I have collected and come up with some reflections about what I believe best describe you and the way in which you lived your life. I will never forget you, my brother and true friend. The bonds of brotherhood between you and your friend will never be broken. I constantly remind myself how precious the gift of life is and it is through our friendship that I realized this. I never believed I would be paying tribute to your passing. I always assumed, I would be toasting to you and your bride one day at your wedding. I will never forget. I know this is not a goodbye, we will see each other again. MM28 Forever. RIP Marko Misic. Time seems to be at a stand still, Can barely feel the typical thrills, My life has put on pause and we cannot seem to push play, Keeping the flittering hope for a brighter day, When the sun will shine beyond the horizon and illuminate the truth that remains so illusive to us all, A crowd is rushing before me and am left stuck in the past, in their wake, The safety and security of my beliefs utterly shattered and beyond repair, the walls are closing in I wander through this life as a damaged soul , seeking solaces in place which have nothing but pain and betrayal to offer, This weakness and vulnerability, is it a sign of growth or just senseless despair? This sense of melancholy does not seem to subside as I navigate the treacherous waters, I long for a steady hand to guide us through the storm, New memories of old adventures and shared experiences flood into my mind every day, In Greek, nostalgia literally means the pain from an old wound, It is a twinge in your heart, far more powerful than memory alone, It takes us to a place where we ache to go again, Sometimes, we hearken to go back to a prior event or instance in time, At times like these, we hope for time machine that allows us to return to happier time full of endless wonder and possibility before we were tainted by this untimely tragedy, A life fraught with indecision and confusion, age old growing pains, The mysterious and ominous allure of the unknown future that lies ahead, who knows what it will bring? The question of what legacy we want to leave behind? What value and use is a life of success and accomplishment if it cannot be shared. My days are spent building up walls and barriers, putting the seemingly shining armor on, masking my own inner turmoil, distancing and distracting oneself so those thoughts do not wander to dangerous places of no return, Have I dedicated my life to a purpose which is not my own? What fulfillment is it that I seek? I have become the idealist and hopeless romantic wishing for a future that will never materialize. Life is very often like a carousel, It lets us travel the way a child travels. Round and a round, and back home again. To a place where we know we are loved and needed. I wish neither to possess, Nor to be possessed. I no longer covet Paradise, More important, I no longer fear Hell. The medicine for my suffering, I had within me, From the very beginning, But I did not take it. My ailment came from within Myself, but I did not observe it. Until this moment. Now I see that I will never find the Light unless, like the candle, I am my own fuel. Consuming myself. We are prisoners of our minds, a slave to our emotions, impulses, urges and unpredictable whims. We all long for that brief fleeting moment of grace and tranquility. Fortune truly favors the bold. We all stand in on the shoulders and in the shadows cast by the giants of history. The history books are littered with stories of great heroic figures accomplishing incredible feats, experiencing crushing failures, but in the end, the triumph of the human spirit over adversity transcends all obstacles and forever etches their memory in our minds. The challenge of our lives is to resist thinking of limitations and rather to enjoy the the wondrous possibilities and opportunities that life has to offer beyond the distant horizon. It takes extraordinary courage, character, and fortitude to boldly take a leap of faith into the unknown without hesitation or insecurity, to embrace our imperfections and restlessness, to sacrifice what you are for what you will become. You don’t know it, but Sometimes, I go to a hill that overlooks the landscape’s mask of city lights For a sip of momentary grace. On this brink of everything I know, I can gain An eyeful of the lost Atlantis in the human soul, And a breath that fills my lungs with the air between two stars If you were now to capture the image of this elation In the framework of your mind, Or find transcendence through these words, Then at most you would know nothing Of the beauty your existence throws to me. For mine is a love no experience, No measure, no words Could ever degrade into reality by virtue of degree. I have the deepest affection for intellectual conversations. The ability to just sit and talk. About love, about life, about anything, about everything. To sit under the moon with all the time in the world, the full-speed train that is our lives slowing to a crawl. Bound by no obligations, barred by no human limitations. To speak without regret or fear of consequence. To talk for hours and about what’s really important in life.” I want to live simply. I want to sit by the window when it rains and read books I’ll never be tested on. I want to paint because I want to, not because I’ve got something to prove. I want to listen to my body, fall asleep when the moon is high and wake up slowly, with no place to rush off to. I want not to be governed by money or clocks or any of the artificial restraints that humanity imposes on itself. I just want to be, boundless and infinite. It doesnt interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your hearts longing. It doesnt interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive. It doesnt interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by lifes betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human. It doesnt interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithlessand therefore trustworthy. I want to know if you can see beauty even when its not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!” It doesnt interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children. It doesnt interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back. It doesnt interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments. Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God. I have studied many times the marble which was chiseled for me – A boat with a furled sail at rest in a harbor. In truth it pictures not my destination But my life. For love was offered me and I shrank from its disillusionment; Sorrow knocked at my door, but I was afraid; Ambition called to me, but I dreaded the chances. Yet all the while I hungered for meaning in my life. And now I know that we must lift the sail And catch the winds of destiny Wherever they drive the boat. To put meaning in one’s life may end in madness, But life without meaning is the torture Of restlessness and vague desire – It is a boat longing for the sea and yet afraid The seas only gifts are harsh blows, and occasionally the chance to feel strong. Now I dont know much about the sea, but I do know that thats the way it is here. And I also know how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong but to feel strong. To measure yourself at least once. To find yourself at least once in the most ancient of human conditions. Facing the blind death stone alone, with nothing to help you but your hands and your own head It is easy, when you are young, to believe that what you desire is no less than what you deserve, to assume that if you want something badly enough , it is your God-given right to have it...I was a raw youth who mistook passion for insight and acted according to an obscure, gap-ridden logic. I thought climbing the Devils Thumb would fix all that was wrong with my life. In the end, of course, it changed almost nothing. But I came to appreciate that mountains make poor receptacles for dreams. And I lived to tell my tale. Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more dangerous to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.
Posted on: Thu, 03 Apr 2014 05:26:39 +0000