~ Common reasons why we binge on weekends and how to address them ~ Lets just get it out here, if you do this - YOURE NOT ALONE. Myself and pretty much every other trainee Ive ever had has dealt with or is dealing with this problem. Its all too common and unfortunately, something that can actually get worse with time if its not addressed. Heres a few things Ive noticed (within myself and within clients) which enhance the tendency to go overboard when Friday night hits, and ways you can learn to overcome them. 1. A poor attitude towards your diet and training during the week is driving your behaviour Lets call this the Work/Reward ratio and provide a scenario. Trainee A wakes up every Monday and gets back on the wagon. They do really well and dont eat anything bad during the week, they do all their training sessions, they work hard. They give up what they want for what they should/need/have to eat or do. Because they have worked so hard during the week and expended a bit of psychological energy adhering to what they should be doing, they feel they need a reward, and thats fair enough! The problem is - that theyre rewarding themselves with the very things theyre trying to avoid. They are rewarding themselves with the things they have forbidden during the week and this harnesses all those little internal feelings of guilt, of shame and of failure because youre effectively making those things you know you should do less of, the very thing you dont want to live without once Friday hits. A far better approach is to consider the second table which is to employ a Reward/Reward mindset! What you are doing during the week should be FUN. It should be its OWN REWARD. Its not a punishment, its fulfilling, you are reaching your goals, youre becoming the person you always wanted to be. If this is you, become Trainee B, change your concept of your diet by making sure that you create foods you enjoy ALL throughout the week. Have a positive mindset and realise that the work IS ITS OWN REWARD. The RESULTS you get from your efforts ARE YOUR REWARD. Seeing yourself grow and to tackle harder and harder things and excel at them - THAT IS THE REWARD. Allow yourself a few of the small things you love during the week but keep it within balance. Remember that this wouldnt be a goal if it was easy, and it wouldnt be a goal if it wasnt worth achieving. A piece of chocolate or half a slab of beer - that is not a reward! Reaching regular, small milestones of achievement and enjoyment in your DAILY actions will remind you of this. 2. Your values arent aligned This is a concept which I recommend you read about in Tony Robbins book Awaking the Giant Within, its a huge factor for self sabotage and it makes a lot of sense. Imagine you listed your values in life from 1 through to 10. Your top value in life is to be successful, but your second value in life is to be happy, and your third is to be safe. The top 1 through to 10 values that you want to AVOID might start with failure at number 1, and then maybe humiliation at number 2. Who is going to be able to achieve success (#1 value), when theyre constantly fearing failure (#1 avoidance)?! How hard might it be for someone to achieve health, if they equate happiness with food and happiness is a more important value to them than health is? What if they also fear humiliation? You then have the tendency to overeat, make poor decisions for your food, feel humiliated as a result - and tell yourself youre not good enough. Cue a repetitive cycle of self sabotage, self loathing and potentially, binge eating. You need to realign and reassess your goals. If you dont know what they are - thats the first problem. You need to think about where you want your life to go, and what values you have or what things you want to avoid and how theyre holding your back. 3. Your goal is confused with a means, and it has not reached Critical Mass. This is a concept I absolutely love as its something which I have personally battled with for a long time. Competing is something I used to know I would excel at if I were to give it my all. The problem was, for so long it wasnt quite important enough to me for that level of exertion to be given. Now - competing still isnt that important, but self actualisation IS. Reaching my potential IS important to me. Being all I can be, IS important to me. Being a role model for my clients IS important to me and it has reached a point of critical mass wherein the efforts which I give towards this goal are persistent, consistent and intense. I realise that competing and coaching is merely the AVENUE which I have chosen to deliver this potential. If I decided one day that I wanted to be a chef - THAT would be the avenue which I chose to use as a means to achieve the ends of self actualisation. Think of this as Maslows Hierarchy of Needs - you dont do something because it is important in and of itself - you do something because it is the MEANS by which you want to achieve the ENDS. If you are aiming to achieve something on the top most level (self actualisation), then all of the levels below it must be fuliflled first. Your choices for food (bottom level), your rest from training (safety level), having the support of friends and family (love/belonging level) and your self esteem and confidence must also be fulfilled IN A WAY WHICH ENABLES THE TOP LEVEL TO BE REALISED. If you are behaving or acting in a way which is sabotaging to those ends, then it is because you are confusing the ends and the means or you are focusing upon the wrong means so youre stuck between the bottom levels.
Posted on: Tue, 27 Jan 2015 03:15:25 +0000
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