Confession #95 I took my phone out and logged in on whatsapp, Bandile was online. He wasnt online for me so I didnt hala at him. I logged out and logged in on facebook, nothing interesting was popping, I just posted my photo then logged out. I didnt eat in the morning, I went out and headed out and went to the kitchen. Esihle was busy cooking, I just sat on the kitchen counter and watched her as she was busy cooking. Me : Whats poppin? Esi : Pap and chicken meat. Me : Like really? Esi : Yeah, if you wanted something better you should have cooked muc. Me : Yho whats with the attitude? Esi : You know what Anele, youre not the one having problems nhe so just please. Me : I was just making a conversation Im sorry. I got off the counter and went to hug her, she started crying. Andaz kutheni but then Esihle is that kind of person who only needs you to hug her and not ask questions. I let go of her and she started down wiping her tears away. Me : Wanna talk about it? She shook her head. Me : Okay then but if youre ready you know where to find me. I exited the kitchen and went back to my room. I lied next to Siya and stared at my phone like a person expecting an important phone call. Ill pick it up now and then but it was no use. Bandile and I were really over and I just dont have the courage to confront him and apologise for my stupidy. Im realising it that Im the one who pushed him away and never gave him a chance to explain why he didnt pick up his phone, everyone has their bad days but I was just too hard on him and yep he was right, Ive been acting childish and stupid at the same time. My phone rang and I jumped off kwi bed with joy. I didnt even check the caller ID Me : *smiles* Hey babe. Caller : Its Elethu. Me : *disappointed voice* Oh hey sisi. Lethu : Saturday Im taking you, Esihle, Lonwabo and little Siya out. Me : It should be a girls day out, exclude Lonwabo. Lethu : *slight laugh* Hay sisi I want us all out. Me : Okay then Ill tell them. Lethu : Sharp ke. I hung up the phone and lied back on bed with a mixed up emotions, I was glad that Elethu is taking us out but I wasnt expecting her call I thought it was Bandile. I turned on some music on my phone and sang alone. I heard umntu disturbing me, when I turned around it was Lonwabo. Lon : Kudala ndikhangela le bhokwe kanti inga la. Me : *confused* A goat? Lon : *smiles* Yeah, its busy making noise. Im looking at it right now. Me : You saying I sing like a goat? Lon : Yeah, not just one but 5 goats. He laughed at me and I joined him. He sure knows how to make my day. Me : Come sit next to me. He came to sit next to me, phof he lied next to me looking at the ceiling. Me : What brings you here? Lon : Bandile told me everything from A-Z Me : *surprised* Hau Lon : Yep. Me : Why cant everyone back off na? Lon : Uh-uh look Anele what you did was wrong shame, you cant blame the poor guy for not answering his phone. You also cant reach your phone sometimes muc. Me : Just get out, why everything has to be about Bandile? Lon : Youre just being stubborn wena and youll regret it. Just admit you were wrong before its too late even if you wont listen to me now just think about it. He got off bed and went out, he left me thinking. The things he said were true and on point but pride didnt want me to call him. I thought of sending him an sms, I was really afraid to talk to him over the phone.I drafted the sms. [Draft] I know have been acting childish and stupid at the same but I realised my mistakes and Im sorry, I dont want our daughter to suffer because of my stupidity. I know how it is to grow up without a dad on your side and I dont want that to happen to Lwethu. Please find it in your heart to forgive me. Love you I looked at it for some few seconds then sent it. It was delivered and I waited for a reply or maybe a phone call but nothing. #SIYAMTHANDA_LUVUYOLWETHU
Posted on: Fri, 11 Jul 2014 06:02:22 +0000
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