Criticism is when we feel like a judgement has been made against us. Feedback is something that helps us improve. If someone has a strong opinion about you (or you assume they do) there are three options for how you can react. a) You will know in your heart of hearts it is not true so you will be able to dismiss it easily, just see it as someone elses perspective and move on. b) You will resist what they are saying by getting offended, or even retaliate. What that really highlights though, is that this person has triggered an insecurity that already existed within you. When you are offended you feel like your self-worth has been lessened. When you retaliate you are trying to assert your self-worth, reinstate your worth, or convince someone that you are worthy. But this just comes from a fear that you believe you may not be worthy (or good) enough. You believe you need to be perfect or that you need to be seen to live up to certain ideals, status or personality traits in order to be worthy, so you go about life proving, promoting and desperately trying to maintain the conditions that prove youre good enough. You perceive that persons opinion as being an attack on your character (and hence your worth to the world) because of the fear that maybe youre not good enough. (this option definitely needs work.) Or c) You will acknowledge that judgement as feedback - as being helpful to your personal growth (regardless of what that persons intent was). You know youre not perfect and you know that you are a works in progress with lots to learn. You know that youre self worth is intrinsic, flaws and all, and you respond to their opinion by saying, Yes, youre probably right. Thats true. This is an area I probably need to work on. Thank you for bringing it to my attention. Or if you do notice that you feel offended, rather than retaliate, you realise that it just means you need to turn your attention towards improving your beliefs about self-worth. You acknowledge a flaw in yourself and you acknowledge that its normal to have them and dont get offended by it at all. You dont feel any less or more worthy than the other person because you realise that we are ALL a works in progress and youre not afraid to admit it. (Reality is no one knows everything and we all have flaws and lessons to learn, so you might as well go with option c). THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CRITICISM AND FEEDBACK IS ONLY A MATTER OF YOUR PERSPECTIVE.
Posted on: Thu, 23 Jan 2014 05:38:39 +0000
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