Danny cant come up with his own material, so he uses two jokes I used at his bar-mitzvah 8 years before. But wait! Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I guess Ill give him his allowance back. By the way, Danny was a great student at the University of Maryland. He did pretty well in the 7 years he was there. In high school he came home one day, beaming from ear to ear. He said, Dad, guess what. I got 800 on my SATs!! I said Fantastic! Was it Math or Verbal? He said Both! 400 math and 400 Verbal. Thats 800. I had to lie down....I had heart palpitations. In his senior year, he came home and exclaimed Dad, incredible! ...I got a perfect GPA at Maryland. I said Unbelievable, a 4.0! He said No. I got a 0.0. I had to sit down because I started to have heart palpitations. But I guess I cant complain. At William and Mary, I got an F in, would you believe it.....golf. (Absolutely true) When I tell the story, I say that I just couldnt make contact with the ball on a single stroke. Actually what happened was, I registered for golf. Then I wanted to switch to a different sport like checkers. I went to the registrar and the doofus said I was too late to change, so I got an F in golf. I think it brought my GPA down significantly. My GPA was 0.9. If I had passed golf, I would have been Summa Cum Loud. But still, Im proud of my son graduating from Maryland, even though it took 7 years. Danny said Dad,, dont you know.....School is like wine. The longer the time, the better. I started to get palpitations. I went to get a drink. Manishevitz. Vile stuff. I had to spit it out. More palpitations.
Posted on: Sat, 03 Jan 2015 22:50:22 +0000
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