Dear Zane, I see your posts of others writing you on Facebook and decided to write you because I would really value your opinion and would like your advice. I met my 1st love when I was in 8th grade. I was 14 at the time and he was 15. This was back in 2008. I was staying in Philadelphia. Everything was perfect this boy was my soulmate. August 2010 rolls around and I had to move with my dad in Texas. Meanwhile my soulmate is getting sentenced a year in jail for stupid activity. (Hes still in Philly) We wrote each other and kept in contact while I was in Tx and he was in philly locked up. I was in 10th grade (16) by this time and Texas was boring. I would go to school on weekdays and party by weekends. After 6 months of being in TX I met someone that was from Jersey. A state close to my hometown Philly in Pennsylvania. We clicked automatically he looked out for me when my dad was being an ass and we became the best of friends. We hung out almost everyday and were very cool. June 2011 came around and I was ready to go back to Philly and be with the love of my life. Well...when I got there my soulmate and I was staying with his aunt in Pottstown PA for awhile because my mother didnt want to take me in. I finally moved in with my mom around August. Around November 2011 I decided that I couldnt bear with this heartbreaking secret and it was time to confess. I told the love of my life that I cheated. Everything went downhill from there. When some drama at my moms escalated I went over to my soulmates house I was preparing to stay by my uncle in Lansdowne Pa. It was late at night and Ill never forget what happened. He had some girl come over in the evening and when she came in the house the look she gave me was priceless. You know the Ive got your man and you cant do anything about it look. I broke down. I was heartbroken that he would bring his new girl in front of my face like that. I went upstairs and cryed and threw all of our letters and history away. Called my uncle and had him pick me up. I felt like my life was over. So I moved in with my uncle. I was going to school at the time. I got back in contact with Mr. Jersey on facebook. We qould take on the phone and on oovoo sometimes. June 2012 rolls around and I graduate. A month later Jersey tells me hes coming to Jersey from Utah. I was excited because we hadnt seen each other in a year. So he comes to PA to visit me. We chilled and also got physical no condom. Jersey stayed for about a weekend and left to go back to jersey. While at my uncles I started eating more...I started feeling really hormonal something was off. Some drama went down at my uncles and I called Jersey. I got to New Jersey safely by the grace of God. He didnt tell his mom I was coming to live with them though. Id say a month after being there he told me he ejaculated in me. I asked him if he was joking. I had never let anybody do that to me before so when he did I didnt know I just asked if he did because there was a lot of nut. He told me he nutted in me because he lovex me and wanted to take care of me also because he was jealous of my ex. All we did was argue in NJ. He had the tagged app on his phone and once I cracked the password I saw loads of messages to females. We stayed with his mother until about 3 months october 2012 she found out I was pregnant and kicked us out. We stayed in a shelter for About 2months and she allowed us to come back. We ended up leaving NJ and moving back to TX in March 2013. Mr. Jerseys aunt promised to help out until we got on our feet. She got us an apartment. The baby was born in April. He was working and I pretty much took care of the baby. As the months went by I started getting suspicious and went through his phone. I found out he had been going to see one of his exes at 3 a.m after work. He had been going to see females behind my back. I confronted and he vowed to tell the truth from there on but Ive had trust issues with him ever since. I tryed to shorten the story as much as possible but bottom line is. I got pregnant again in november 2013. All weve doing is arguing and fighting. He gets upset when I talk to my ex but he talks to who he wants...its a pattern eventually one of us goes back to talking to somebody other than each other...especially when angry...my due date is august 30th and I just feel like weve fell apart. I feel like hes going to go out like last summer and Ill be stuck with the kids. I plan to get birth control and go to school and get a job. Do something decent with myself like I planned to do after graduation. We are abou t to have two kids together and we do not have it together. What should I do? MY RESPONSE: All you can do at this point is do the best that you can. You may very well end up alone with the kids, either for the summer or for good. No one can make him do the right thing by you or the children. You had a child in April 2013, found out that he was cheating, stayed with him, and got pregnant again in November 2013. Your kids are innocent in all of this. The two of you do not need to be together but you do need to figure out how to parent your kids together. But you can still make a good life for yourself after you graduate. Plenty of women become extremely successful after having children so young and ending up as single mothers. Do not use the term stuck with the kids. Your children are your legacy and there is no such thing as babysitting your own children. They are your greatest responsibility and they are also supposed to be your greatest joy and your greatest accomplishment. Do not revisit the sins of their father on them. Good luck.
Posted on: Sun, 13 Jul 2014 00:42:12 +0000
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