Depression. it stinks. Today is a bad day for me. I have had - TopicsExpress



          

Depression. it stinks. Today is a bad day for me. I have had crying jags off and on and I feel miserable. Im sitting in my room, hiding from life and the sun. and that makes me yet more depressed. Its a lovely day here, but I have no interest in it. part of it is my health, for sure. Its hard to stay happy when your body always feels bad. My head is aching awfully today, my lungs hurt to breathe deeply, my body hurts. It gets old after a while. And yet when people ask me Why are you depressed? I have no real answer. Everything. Nothing. I cant choose to be not depressed, or I would, believe me. I have a pretty good life. I live where I am happy, my husband and son, though not perfect, are a pretty great fit for me and I love them, I have friends and social outlets (at least on here) . So why am I depressed/ Brain chemicals, pure and simple. I recall going to a dr. back in my hometown to ask for help with my depression. He asked me aobut my life and then said Well, I dont know what youve got to be depressed about, maybe you should try just not whining so much. I never went back to him again. Sometimes I talk about it on here and most people are super supportive, and if they dont know what to say, they just tell me they hope I feel better soon, but I have had people tell me Im a complainer, I dont know how spoiled I am, and that Im a hypochondriac as well. That certainly deosnt help, even though I know better. Heres the thing, if you know someone with severe depression, do not belittle them, do not ask them why they feel that way. Theres a difference b3etween beign sad, which most people will have an answer for (I lost my job, my dog died, etc.) and being depressed, which can come out of the clear , blue, Gettysburg sky and hit you like a ton of bricks. Dont tell them to cheer up, we would if we could. Dont tell them it will all be ok or get better, we know that things go up and down, but when we are in the deep end, thats all we can feel at the moment. Just be supportive, or if you cant, dont say anything. You might not understand what we go through, but that doesnt make it any less real. I dont know what having cancer is like, but would never tell someone to shut up and get over it. Anyway, today is a bad day. Tomorrow could be better. Or the next day. But for now, Ill sit here, try to hide the worst of it from my boy, let Rex DuBois Jr. take over as much as he can for me, and ride out the storm. Hugs to you all.
Posted on: Sat, 19 Apr 2014 19:24:24 +0000

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