Dont Start None, It Wont Be Non-Chalant! Nnamdi from S.O.L.A.R. LIFE The Science On Living A Righteous Life Nonchalant (adj.) Look up nonchalant at Dictionary1734, from French nonchalant, present participle of nonchaloir be indifferent to, have no concern for (13c.), from non- not (see non-) + chaloir have concern for, ultimately from Latin calere be hot (see calorie). French chaland customer, client is of the same origin. Related: Nonchalantly. Many Black Men/Women find that in the probation period in a relationship, a certain expectation to act indifferently or nonchalant, is placed on both people. This can be extremely frustrating if one, or both individuals feel strongly about one another and certainly it can create many misunderstandings in regards to the intellect and emotions of either person. How does a black woman show her feelings for another in a situation where they do not yet feel comfortable revealing too much about their thoughts? It can be extremely difficult to know exactly which actions will send the right messages to a new interest and how to avoid exposing oneself to a degree that will create an uncomfortable situation. In truth, black women value Comfort and Convenience. When those two essentials are threaten, a woman will either Fight with a pugnacious attitude or take flight and hide behind the Wall called “Nonchalant” rather than risk getting hurt, rejected, or awkward reaction to the admission of how they feel. Another common problem with this behavior is that even those black men/women who are confident enough to share their feelings do so in an abrasive, disconnected, self-absorb manner. This too can be extremely frustrating when attempting to create an environment that allows for true Understanding. Possibly the most difficult aspect of this problem is being able to tell the difference between a person who is digging you but unable to connect and a person who simply not interested. Because pressing the issue, even when accomplished carefully, can further complicate any relationship many people feel compelled to simply give up on the idea altogether. Though most people have great difficulty controlling emotions in a relationship, there is a certain amount of control that any person is capable achieving: how much they allow this new relationship to interfere with their life. While the thought of a new interest may enter your mind frequently it is possible to maintain a certain level of distraction when attempting to keep those thoughts to a minimum. In many relationships, especially at the beginning, people tend to sweat over the tiniest details and by doing so cause themselves a great deal of frustration. Focusing instead on the basic idea that this new person either will, or will not like you and that there is little that you can do about besides being yourself may help to alleviate some of the unnecessary pressures of new relationships. Do The Knowledge to Change: Hiding the worst parts of yourself in the beginning of a relationship is common practice for many people because they fear that the new interest does not know them well enough to tolerate their flaws. While most people will be unable to completely do away with such a practice, it does stand to reason that if you feel that these flaws are worth hiding, it might be time to address them. Rather than attempting to deceive your potential interest it may be far more beneficial to you both.
Posted on: Fri, 23 Jan 2015 21:17:49 +0000
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