ENGAGEMENT HALAL or HARAAM ? Engagement does not mean that she is your mahram. The Pre Marriage dangers: By - Nisaar Nadiadwala A friend of mine got his daughter engaged. They were a rich family so there was a party to celebrate. It was more like a reception of a wedding. The couple stood on the stage and the ceremony began with a ring in each others fingers. People clapped like in a birthday party candles blow off and flocked to congrajulate. The bride did not have a hijab and it was all a mix gathering like an exhibition of a Barbie Bride and manequin Husband. Everybody agreed that the couple was awesome nd wished them a happy marriage life The nikah was fixed for next year. but in a few months the engagement broke off. There were many reasons hurled by both the sides. But one wise man summed it up this way : The couple enjoyed companionship without halal and behaved like a husband and wife before they were, so soon they got saturated of each other. They quickly saw each others human weakness and flaws, which are common in each of us so the relations landed before it could take off. It took two years and hundreds of certified clarifications for the girls parents to get another boy for their daughter.We wasted a lot of money the parents mourned. But they didnt seem to mourn about the unIslamic liberty that the Namahram boy took with their daugther in the pretext of being theirson in law, which Islamically he was not. One of the most common and dangerous error about fixing up nikah is the term engagement which is made to appear as a valid commitment of nikah. Those who do not know the basics of deen, nor have Islamic friend circle to guide them are the biggest victim of this. It is astonishing to know that eventhe so called practicing Muslms, people in beard and hijab attend such engagements and participate in a ritual under the pressure of the host! I have yet to hear a ( Nikah or Jumuah) khutbah in any masjid where the speaker speaks about engagement as not a part of nikah. In my Dawah life of 21 years I have attended around 1000 Jumuah khutbas attentively in more than 200 different masajids of India but I am surprised how it . not come to the mind of the khateeb to address it. Clarifying that engagement is not a part of Nikah ritual has become as neccesary as talks on discouraging dowry. It comes no where near any essentiality of Nikah. Engagement does not mean that she is your mahram. You have no rightto take her outfor a coffee in a restaurant. You have no right to message her on wattsapp as if you are already her husband. Such type of togetherness is fahisha, and asking it as a licence to driveyour wife to beis an interferance in the shariah of Allah. No one has a right to transform a haram into halal. She is not your wife and there is no termFIANCEEin Islamic Marriage Code. Either she is your wife or she is not your wife. Either she is your mahram or she is not your mahram. One can fix the nikah and the date can be later but till then there should be no intermingling between the two. Or one can get married and the rukhsati can be later. But let the community realise that their daughters are not available for haram fun in the garb of engagment. Engagement ritual is a crap.. Dust it into a bin. May Allah forgive us.
Posted on: Wed, 12 Nov 2014 13:59:44 +0000
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