Excerpt time! Pulling Me Under, a novel, coming October 2013. (Raw and unedited) * * * Suddenly, the kitchen fades to an image of my closet. Last night, I found Ella’s fingers skimming along the circle she made of Paul’s ties. For minutes, I stood behind her in the doorway of my closet. It had been the first time in my master bedroom in months. Ella bopped on her knees, her feet tucked away under her bum. She’d laid out all of her favorite colors. One with Disney’s Tasmanian Devil printed on it, another in Cadbury purple. Ten or so more lay around the circle. Her favorite tie had a pink and blue swirl twisting down its length. She stroked each tie once, her voice a steady hum. When she brushed the swirly tie, her hum reached a staccato and stopped. She picked it up in the same manner as her favorite doll named Elly and stroked it against her chest. Outside, the Melbourne rain had climaxed from gentle taps on the windows to angry thumps, making me jump. “Oh, Daddy,” Ella mumbled. “Can I really have it?” A flash of me from months ago rushed to her side, knowing to fold her legs and prop her in my lap as we sat together. That me plucked all her fingers, and Ella chuckled and snorted simultaneously. Instead? I said, “No. Ella. Out.” She spun around at the same time as a clap of lighting shook the carpet under our feet. She squealed and clamped her arms by her side, her back ramrod straight. “I want the swirly one. M-my doll needs it.” I held myself up on the doorjamb of the closet, my arm easily blocking out the bed and the far side of the room where no one had scrubbed out the stain completely. “No more. You’re not allowed there. No one is.” My lip shook almost too much to choke out words. “How could you … do this? You know how naughty … to come here.” Even I couldn’t go in the master bedroom. The crumpled sheets can’t move. Leave the stains. Everything must remain the same. I don’t straighten my hair anymore, sleep with a pile of pillows, wear my comfortable jeans. No one can be here so nothing will change. What if Ella found the box under the bed? If she went through it? Not yet. Maybe not ever. I promised myself I couldn’t look under the bed. Too much finality in looking through that box. * * * Add it to Goodreads here and share this post with your friends! goodreads/book/show/16178198-pulling-me-under
Posted on: Fri, 16 Aug 2013 02:04:09 +0000
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