Feeling so upset right now and depressed. Thinking about a lot of - TopicsExpress



          

Feeling so upset right now and depressed. Thinking about a lot of stuff and wondering if life is worth it. Let the shit talking begin and give me even more reason. No matter how many times i talk myself up it gets ruined. Maybe if im gone Kenny Higgins will get his family back seein as im blamed for why he wont talk to them or isnt around. Maybe if im gone if im gone the shit talking will stop. Maybe if im gone my bestfriend will miss me and talk to me again. Maybe if im gone my son will will have a happier life and wont have to her bad things about me when he gets older that arent true. Feeling all alone and no one notices. I hav been abused in so many ways and all i want is it to stop. I want my brain to leave me alone. I want my memories to leave me alone. I cant forget anything. I just wanna forget everybody that talks bad about me behind my back. I wanna forget my past cus it still haunts me. I wanna stop ducking and flinching every time someone raise there hand around me. I wanna forget all pain i have inside. I wanna stop feeling like trash that im that bad a person i have to be thrown away. I hope my son knows i wasnt a bad mom. I never miss treated him. He never lived in filth and i wasnt a whore. The pain of almost having my son taken from me an the fear of looking over my shoulder it will be gone. I want to know what it like to never feel pain or fear so bad you have to puke. I wish people would except me as his future wife instead of pushing him away like a piece of trash. I wish his pain would go away. People keep pushing him away and it kills me. Now he is loosing another. I cant keep feeling this way.
Posted on: Tue, 18 Jun 2013 08:44:17 +0000

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