Fifteen years ago today my Father passed away unexpectedly changing forever my Mothers and my course in life. It has not, by any means, been an easy journey. In fact its been downright treacherous. Ive encountered both some of the best and worst kinds of people along the way. Good and what I believe to be true evil. I learned to trust and to mistrust. I learned how to repair a broken heart even when its been shattered to the smallest of pieces. I learned how to be an orphan; how to be alone in the world and yet try to never feel lonely. I learned about true depression, about true loss. I learned what its like to go hungry, to be in danger of not having a place to live, to live without water, heat, or electricity for extended periods of time. I learned what its like to be the sole provider for a home, to have to give up on your dreams to support yourself and your family, to indirectly be the parent when you are only still a child. I learned what it was like to be abandoned and back stabbed by those you thought you could trust, to feel like youve lost all hope. I know what it is like to hit rock bottom. But in having to endure all that I also learned how to rise up, how to stand strong, and how to never give up. I learned how to have real faith that there is a meaning to all this, a purpose for all the pain, tears, and heartbreak. I learned everything happens for a reason, what’s meant to be will be, and there is something greater and beyond ourselves and this life. I found the strength and will to stop fearing the unknown, to walk towards it at full stride and never waiver. I learned how to enjoy life and be thankful for all the good Ive had even alongside so much bad. I’ve learned how to face my fears and conquer them against all odds. I’ve learned how to accept who I am, be proud of it, and never change myself simply for others acceptance. I’ve learned, after 15 years and for the first time ever, to not wake up and be in fear of this day. Instead today I choose to just remember and celebrate one of the two parents that raised me, in such a short time, to be strong, open minded, and caring. I am thankful for having, hands down, one of the best Father’s in the world, even if it was only for a short time, because frankly I understand now that’s more than most people are lucky enough to ever get at all in this life. I will never again fear today, tomorrow, or for my future. I write my own destiny and I choose to never let anything or anyone bring me down. I live for today. I fight for tomorrow. I welcome the unknown.
Posted on: Tue, 12 Nov 2013 16:00:02 +0000
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