For the last several days weve been encouraging our alumni and friends to go to MLB and vote for 2006 graduate Dallas Keuchel to take the last spot on the American League All Star team. As part of their marketing campaign, the Houston Astros have been asking fans to submit their favorite (and very funny) Dallas Keuchel Facts. Heres our favorites so far: -Dallas Keuchel once gave my uncle open heart surgery using only his glorious beard and majestic smile. -Dallas Keuchel invented bacon because he loves us. -He was so good for the Razorbacks, the school wanted to be named Arkeuchel. -Keuchel doesnt actually throw a breaking ball. He curves time and space as the pitch approaches the plate. -Dallas Keuchels strike out dance can only be shown on TV from the waist up. -Dallas Keuchels beard has an extra pitching arm inside of it for extra performance. -Dallas Keuchels beard is a registered hurricane shelter in the City of Houston. -Dallas Keuchel and Chuck Norris once arm wrestled. They tied. -Keuchels beard taught James Hardens beard how to be famous. -The IRS is nervous about being audited by Dallas Keuchel. -Dallas Keuchel knows who let the dogs out. -Dallas Keuchels beard is currency in 14 countries. -Dallas Keuchel knows what Willis is talking about. -Nolan Ryan and Chuck Norris had a child. His name is Dallas Keuchel. -Keuchel gave a pregame speech to Germany today. -Keuchel once hopped in a DeLorean, travelled to 1941 and snapped Joe DiMaggios hitting streak at 2. -Keuchel is an ancient German word meaning bearded ground ball out machine. and finally... -They wanted to put Keuchels face on Mount Rushmore but the granite wasnt hard enough for his beard.
Posted on: Wed, 09 Jul 2014 02:39:15 +0000