GREEN SIGNS IN THE WINDOW Today has been a miserable day as far as the weather goes. Starting mid-morning, we have had sleet and freezing rain for several hours. After putting off my mail duty as long as I could, I put my jacket on and hurried out to the mailbox to pick up the daily load of catalogs and occasional bills. As I walked back toward the house I noticed the red ribbons, still hanging from our upstairs windows. Suddenly I had a flash back to my old grade school days. At the old Grant Street Elementary School, there was a wonderful playground where we ran around at recess time, played soft ball, climbed the monkey bars and in general let off some of our childhood energy. We played before school and at lunchtime as well. There was, however, a simple signaling device every one of us looked for when we arrived at school in the morning, or after lunch. In the second floor window was placed a red or green piece of construction paper. Red meant we had to stay off the playground because it was either too wet or muddy. Green meant run and play to your heart’s content. I remember how my spirits would drop when the red sign was up in the window. We were relegated to the blacktop and concrete around the school building. Sometimes, it seemed to me whoever decided to pick whatever color wasn’t paying a lot of attention. Of course, I wanted Green all the time. Who wants to be held back from playing and having fun? Maybe that’s the same way things are now. I prefer a one sided Universe where fun and pleasure are the name of the game. I like a playground with continuous access, where no one puts up red signs. Disney world is always preferable to chores. Fantasyland calls to me much more than meetings and seminars. Why can’t we have more Green signs? I suspect most of us like a one-sided Universe, where things go our way endlessly. However, we have learned differently, but I’m not sure if we have graciously accepted a more grown-up world, perhaps still being governed by our inner child. Many years ago someone mentioned to me we lived in a 50-50 world. “Lamont,” this mean teacher said, “We live in a 50-50 world. About half the time, we get what we want, and the other half, we don’t.” Now, I knew that from experience; I just didn’t like hearing it out loud. Sadly, and unfortunately, it’s mostly true. Part of the times, things go my way, and part of the times, they don’t. Green signs are put up on some days, Red ones on others. Most of us know this, almost unquestionably, we just wish it were otherwise. This Red and Green sign thinking has made me wonder about our own inner signs. Who determines whether we can step on the playground or not? Who posts the signs for my life? Is there some teacher someplace, wandering on the second floor of my brain, occasionally switching the colors around? How do we give ourselves permission to do certain things - even if they are bad for us? Or, for that matter, good? From time to time, I talk to someone who has made a mess in their life. You all know someone like that. And when they talk about the decision which got them into trouble, they may say, “It seemed like a good idea at the time,” or “ I didn’t really think about it, I just sort of jumped in.” Experts like to call this a lack of “impulse control.” And it probably is. I might say, they don’t pay attention to the Red and Green signs, but then again, maybe no one told them about the rules, or explained the colors, or talked about consequences when you ignore the Second Floor Teacher’s postings. To be clear, I’m not talking about a conscience here, although some of you may see it that way. The conscience is taught to us by our parents and teachers, and for that we all need to be grateful. However, as we mature, there is the opportunity to fiddle around with the Green and Red signs according to our own belief system, and our understanding of what we want in life, as well as what’s allowed. My guess is that part of being a Grown-up is Accepting our 50-50 world, and placing the Reds and Greens accordingly. Otherwise, your shoes will get wet and muddy, and the Teachers of Accountability in Life will show up in most unpleasant ways. My Lament for tonight is for the times I resisted the 50-50 world, and tried desperately to have it all my way, with the consequences that impacted a lot of people. Hopefully, I know better. The Shorter Version We live in a 50-50 world. Failure to accept that, results in pain and suffering Grown-ups live by Internal “rules,” which open doors to happiness
Posted on: Sat, 03 Jan 2015 21:20:07 +0000
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