I BELIEVE EXACTLY WHAT I PREFER TO BE TRUE Francis Bacon once stated, “Man prefers to believe what he prefers to be true.” When we go in search of evidence to support a belief, we are inclined to seek opinions which are in support of what we desire to be true. It is in our human nature to do so. In addition to seeking information from favorable sources, we also have a tendency to let our preferences determine the amount of information we will examine. When our initial investigation supports our tightly held belief, we are quickly satisfied with the “proof” and are willing to accept the matter as being resolved. On the other hand, when the initial evidence is opposed to what we desire to be true, or possibly even hostile to our fondly held belief, we are more likely to continue our investigation in search of more comforting support of what we wish to find or reasons to discredit the original hostile evidence to that belief. This “optional stopping” point almost always will favor coming to a conclusion which supports our dearly held and hoped for beliefs. The field of well-being is a field of study which is encumbered with countless theories on how we can manipulate the feelings we feel. The complex nature of life prevents life from being easily understood. There is no quick and simple explanation which clearly explains the complexity of the emotional landscape of our lives. Well-beings own ambiguous nature allows for a multitude of alternative interpretations. The ambiguity naturally leads to our own human weakness to choose comforting beliefs over principles which can propel us forward in growth. If a principle strikes a nerve, it is easy for us to discredit the principle and continue on the same course we have always taken, even if the future of that course prevents us from moving forward. I have seen a multitude of times in discussion boards a seemingly sincere person present a personal issue to the group for advice. The issue presented is a significant problem causing pain and disruption in their lives. Naturally, the group rallies with suggestions to help the petitioner overcome the proposed problem. Each suggestion is quickly discredited by the original poster with, “That won’t work because…..” It strikes me as eerily familiar to one of the psychological games found in the best-selling book, “Games People Play” by Eric Berne (1964). “That won’t work because….” Is an excellent example how we can bend and transform anything we hear. We can always find reasons not to extend ourselves into any remedy which we fear. There is a certain quality of helplessness which is comforting. Biologically animals when completely overwhelmed by a fear can become overcome. The fight/flight response melts into complete submission. The body shuts down to the overwhelm of anxiety and finds relief in doing nothing. By finding reasons to be helpless, we relieve ourselves of the fear of courageously venturing down avenues which may provide a solution to our “issue.” It is true that some of the remedies may require effort and ultimately may fail. Yet it is only through this open-minded trial and error that growth, wisdom and success may be achieved. ~Troy Murphy Flourishing Life Society
Posted on: Sun, 27 Jul 2014 15:25:00 +0000
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