I feel like my eyes are clear and the fog is lifting this morning. I admit and those of you who I see on a regular basis probably already know that I am an emotional wreck. My heart is beating thru my chest recently and I feel an odd urgency or stirring that I have never felt before. The running thread in my mind consistently over the last several months has been: Am I the man that God has called and created me to be? Am I living a life that is God pleasing and am I leading my family on the path of faithfulness? Do I speak words of kindness and spiritual encouragement? I still dont know how to answer. I met with my doctor this morning for a medication check. She immediately noticed a change in me from the last time I had seen her, about this time last year. I was a broken, splintered shadow of a man a year ago and sought relief in prescriptions and science. At that time, she responded with words of stern direction, You are overly stressed, not sleeping and have high blood pressure. If you continue on the path you are on, you are going to die. Today she knew things were different. She saw a difference in me from the moment she walked in and I was able to share some of the amazing things that God is doing in my life and our family. She then said something profound. I see a light in you that wasnt there before. One of the Kretzmann Family Mottos, is They will know we are Christians by our love. We use this as an example and encouragement to our 3 kiddos that by living by the Word and as a part of Gods family, we are DIFFERENT. I am sure people look at our family and think we are already strange, but we are different because we have a heart for Jesus and have love to share (even with an occasional, Hey dont bite your sister!). So, we look at the world and understand that our words and actions set us apart from a wicked culture of selfishness and ego abuse. So, the question remains: Am I that Man that God requires, that my wife deserves, that my children depend on? I dont think I will never be able to give a firm, Yes. I think it is more important to keep asking those questions then to ever cross some kind of hypothetical finish line. My promise is this (We use this line often in our Mens group at theAlley): It is a commitment to a direction, not a promise of perfection. But changes are afoot, fires are being lit, clouds are dissipating to reveal a sunrise that we have been waiting on like Alaskan winter that we thought wouldnt end.
Posted on: Fri, 01 Nov 2013 17:11:12 +0000
Trending Topics
© 2015