I had an epiphany this morning on my drive in to work. Not a pleasant one, but an oddly comforting one nonetheless. I was thinking about a recent conversation with a friend, one in which I was asked point-blank if I was happy. I had to answer, truthfully, no. Still, what right do I have to say Im not happy, to BE not happy? Life is chaos right now, but in many ways I am still extremely blessed. Ive had hardships, but nothing I cant get over. Im struggling, but Im surviving. And then it hit me. I can know (and appreciate) the fact that Im lucky and blessed, that I have resources and support that so many do not, that my rock-bottom just isnt that low... first-world problems is really all I have... and I can still be unhappy. I can know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and still feel discouraged that the tunnel seems so. Very. Long. I can have faith that things will improve, that I have what it takes to dig myself out and lift myself up yet again, that Im in a better position than Ive ever been in to turn things around... and yet still be deeply and profoundly wounded, weak, weary. I can be grateful for all I have and still mourn the things Ive lost. Things will get better, I know this. But its okay to still feel bad. And that, my friends, is why God made Ben & Jerrys.
Posted on: Wed, 16 Jul 2014 03:35:42 +0000
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