I have a dream to become a mother. After 5 losses its extremely hard to watch friends and family become pregnant and have children. I want so bad to be excited and happy for them but it kills me inside, and the jealousy I feel is unbearable. On top of the jealousy there is guilt. Guilty for feeling jealous. And with guilt comes sadness and anger. Angry at myself for something I have no control over. Why me? Why cant I be normal? When people complain about their kids or their pregnancy it makes me sad. If only you knew how bad I want those terrible kids of yours or how much I long for the foot in my ribs in the 3rd trimester you wouldnt say it, i promise. I am genuinely happy for all of you whove experienced pregnancy and childbirth without complications. Just know you are truly blessed, and please, dont ever take your children or your experience for granted. And please for the love of GOD be careful what you say to people, you never know what they have been through.
Posted on: Fri, 09 Jan 2015 21:35:05 +0000
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