I have to admit that this Robin Williams thing has really got me down. No, I didnt know him personally obviously, and Im certainly not just jumping on the bandwagon of whatever is trending on Facebook at the time. As most of you probably know this subject hits very close to home for me. And for those of you who dont know, my younger brother of 15 took his own life on Christmas Eve in 1996 and was in a coma for 3 days before he finally left us. And then my uncle Jay, who was living with us at the time, did the same around Thanksgiving that following year. I have avoided reading into the gory details of how Mr. Williams was found because my brother and uncle decided to end their lives in the same way and I honestly feel that such details should not be shared with the public. This whole thing deeply saddens me for many reasons. For one, it takes me back to that dark time many years ago and all the emotions that came with losing my brother, my best friend, Kenny. No one had ever suspected such a thing would have ever happened. Like myself, he was always joking around and making others laugh. Id bet any single one of you could not have stood in the same room with the both of us at any given time and not have your face hurting from laughing so hard. We also had a lot of the same friends and we did so much dumb shit together. The day that I lost my brother my world changed. Itll never be as bright as it once was and as the years roll on by things get a little easier but that dark cloud will always follow me and everyone who knew Kenny. We will all suffer loss, this is a terrible and known fact and it cant be avoided. But when someone forces that end, the game changes. We question why, what was so bad about so and sos life that they needed to end it so badly? We are left feeling helpless, wondering what we could have done. According to Facebook I have 824 friends. Now I obviously cant talk to each and every single one of you every day and in fact have not spoken to most of you in quite some time or maybe even ever, yet if any one of you ever came to or messaged me and needed to talk I would certainly be there to do so. Thats just the kind of person I am. I myself was diagnosed with major depression many years ago, long before the incident with my brother. I was tormented both in elementary and high school, mostly for being different. Which I still proudly am thank you very much. :p. My childhood wasnt ideal but my parents made sure the three of us were taken care of. I was the one in my family that was constantly in and out of places for trying to hurt myself, not my little brother. I know what that abyss looks like when are staring over the edge ready to jump because you truly cant take it anymore. I ask of you this friends and family, If you find yourself staring into that cold and empty place, reach out to someone, if not me. Because unless you do, just like the hole in the video below, that abyss will just get bigger and bigger until you dont have the option to jump, you just fall in. We will all suffer loss. We will all hurt. Life oftentimes can certainly be cruel. On the other hand there are great things to be done, great songs to be sung, and amazing stories to be told. Go out and live my friends, I promise it will always be worth it. :) https://youtube/watch?v=Nog3J4t3BfE
Posted on: Thu, 14 Aug 2014 08:20:01 +0000
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