I think I have determined that I had a nice shock to my already - TopicsExpress



          

I think I have determined that I had a nice shock to my already low self-esteem today. On top of my art that isnt noticed that I work so God-damned hard on, the fact that I have three (best) friends in the world and only talk to two of them on a daily basis, the fact that I am often never invited to any kind of gathering or activity amongst by peers, I also apparently have conversations that no one actually cares about... like tonight. Imagine having attempting to have conversations with someone, only to be interrupted by someone else and have that conversation be prioritized immediately above your own. Its seriously damaging, and it seriously is making me feel less and less important every single God-damned time it happens. And thats when I have to question, do I really belong on this Earth? Does anyone truly care about the things I do? And thats where it takes a strong will to have a part of me say, Hang in there. Never give up. Just hang in there, and listen to that voice. But none of you know that feeling. None of you know how much I have let myself go in order to keep going. The emotion and the ability to even care that I have to give up in order to keep going. Am I fine? Yes. Ill make it, but I am hurt. Im always hurting, and will continue to hurt because I have determined through experience that very minimal people care about me. My loving family keep me going, and my good friends Scott and Alex keep me going, and for that I thank them dearly from the bottom of my heart.
Posted on: Mon, 12 Jan 2015 07:04:41 +0000

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