I woke up Tuesday August 26th at 4:30am...and even though I knew - TopicsExpress



          

I woke up Tuesday August 26th at 4:30am...and even though I knew it was a dream, something about it had seemed so real. It started with me standing in the kitchen at my parents house. Suddenly, I heard the beginning guitar in Led Zepplins Heartbreaker. I hear it coming from the back yard and so I walk down the stairs to the sliding glass door and Daniel is standing there in the back yard dressed in some black jeans, black rock band T-shirt and had his blue Charvel in hand. And hes standing there, hair straight and long and pulled over his shoulders, glasses on, and playing this part of the song over and over again (though technically it does get played over and over again) he looks up at me from looking down at his hands on the strings and smiles. Next thing I know I am sitting down stairs in the addition at my parents house on the couch with a friend talking and my moms voice comes from the kitchen asking me Rachel have you seen Daniel? I say I just saw him in the back yard playing his guitar. She asks me if I can find him because she needs to ask him something. So I remember opening the sliding glass door and yelling Daniel? And something about saying his name knowing he would answer felt odd but familiar. I walked the back yard calling his name until I saw his head pop up through his bedroom window. He said yeah? I told him mom was looking for him. And he giggled and said ok cool, Ill be right there. I remember how the curtains were hung in his bedroom window and how I could see the posters of the bands he liked hanging on the wall in the back ground, just as some still remain hung today. I walked back into the house and sat on the couch again talking to my friend & I remember saying its so weird to know just a few years ago what could have happened to Daniel. So thankful he is still here. Then when the dream had almost ended, I went to walk back to the kitchen and saw Daniel sitting at the dining room table eating a bowl of cereal. I said see ya Dan and he said Laters with a smile. And those were the exact last words we exchanged on the evening of Aug. 31st 2011 as he had his head in the fridge looking for food. ;) I woke up and sat there for a minute staring at the ceiling in the dark. Then I thought its the dreams like this...that make me feel like somehow...Dan is still alive and with us. 3 years have almost passed on the 4th of September & I still dreamt him so vividly. His voice, his face, how he dressed, how he smiled, how he moved, how he giggled. Its all still stored away somewhere in my brain. I remember the day he passed my mom said its like you want time to go by so the pain will get easier...but at the same time you can still see them so clearly, you dont want time to take that away. You dont want to start to forget how it felt to have them around. When I look at the front door I can still see him walk through it. I dont want to lose that feeling. I pray to this day she can still see him walk through the front door...yet I hope the pain has turned into sweet memories.
Posted on: Sun, 31 Aug 2014 17:41:59 +0000

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