Invigilator: Alhaji Buhari, what are you doing here? Buhari: I am writing my primary school examination as required by INEC Invigilator: Why are you writing primary school exam when you have very good result in the school certificate examination you wrote in 1961? Buhari: Which certificate? Invigilator: The one the University of Cambridge and Ministry of Education jointly released yesterday Buhari: So you too, as educated as you are, you believe that paper? Invigilator: What do you mean? Buhari: What name is written on the certificate you are talking about? Invigilator: Mohamed Buhari. What is wrong with the name? Buhari: You want me to tell you what is wrong with the name? Ok. What is my name? Invigilator: You are General Muhammadu Buhari, the peoples General formerly without certificate but as from yesterday, with bogus certificate. Buhari: Forget about story. Now answer me, is Mohamed the same as Muhammadu? Invigilator: No o. They are two different names. Buhari: Was there Class Six when you went to school? Invigilator: No. We had the last and final class as Class Five. Buhari: I know you are younger than my first child. But I must ask you, did you write Hausa Language when you did WASC Examination? Invigilator: No, I did not because it was not possible. Hausa Language was not in the school curruculum then. Buhari: So, why did you believe that Made in Oluwole paper? Invigilator: But I had to believe it. It was released to the public by the Katsina State Ministry of Education. Buhari: No, no, please do not let them release the result to the public yet. Invigilator: Why not? It is released already. Buhari: I need to write this particular exam in case it is discovered that the one you saw on newspaper is Made in Oluwole. They should have waited till I finish writing this examination before releasing it. Invigilator: Why? Buhari: What if the press men see me here. Or even Jonathanians? What do you think they will tell the world? Invigilator: I do not know. You tell me. Buhari: They will like to know why I am writing exam when I already have a very good result. The ministry should have waited for me to finish this exam before that Oluwole result is released. Invigilator: But that was the result of 1961 examination originally released decades ago. Buhari: No, I am not Mohamed Buhari. That certificate cannot be mine. I am Muhammadu Buhari and I have not sworn an affidavit that I have changed my name from Mohamed to Muhamnadu. Until I swear an affidavit to that effect, that certificate is not mine. Invigilator: This is serious. Buhari: The certificate you saw must be the Made in Oluwole copy from Asiwaju. You see, they do not even know my correct name. The APC want to use that to delay Nigeria till my real result is out. Then we can submit the result for this exam that I am writing right now. Please do not disturb me. Let me concentrate. Invigilator: Which question are you answering, maybe I can help you? Buhari: I am on number 4. Invigilator: Bomb making? Buhari: Yes. I do not need help for this. Bomb making is my profession. I was busy making bombs when my classmates were writing WASC exam in 1961. Moreover, I have been cheating since 1960, so I am very experienced cheater. I have 53 years experience in corruption. Invigilator: Would that help you pass the exam? Buhari: Yes of course. A General can never fail exam. Invigilator: Why? Buhari: If I do not know the answer I will command you to do it for me and you must obey. - IMO 220115
Posted on: Fri, 23 Jan 2015 07:03:39 +0000
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