Like so many of you, I was so saddened to hear of the apparent suicide of Robin Williams. That man could sure make us laugh (and often blush) by making himself into the clown, the butt of the joke, the one who made sure that even if he was crying, we were all laughing. And yet, all those jokes, puns and laughs didnt change the pain inside him-and it didnt make his depression disappear. I understand. And I am sure, so many of you do as well. Ive been in that dark pit-the fog of despair called depression. That hopeless state that calls out and beckons to so many of us and like the sirens of the ocean, sings to us a song of death. Yes, Ive been there....in the place where truth is confused by the lie. Mine at one time was my family would be so much better off if I was dead. They deserve better than me. I was deceived. And if you arent sure what that means---its believing the lie to be truth. I didnt say, I will believe the lie, I just didnt have the strength to fight for the truth. Its easier to slide down into the pit than to fight to stay out of it. But, by Gods love and grace alone, a woman I knew...we werent even great friends back then-just church friends- took a chance and asked me what was wrong. The problem was, I couldnt tell her----BECAUSE I DIDNT KNOW!!!! Did you hear me? I DIDNT KNOW!!!! All I knew was, I couldnt fight back, I couldnt stand up, I couldnt. My family didnt know what to do...they prayed for me, but what to DO?? Who knew back then? It was a time when we didnt talk about it as Christians. We were supposed to be blessed all the time and just pray it away. But it didnt just go away. No, God sent this amazing sugar haired lady, to love me back to life. Cecile Morgan, Morgan- was the instrument God used to remind me, every day for more than 2 years that God loved me, I was loved by my family and I was precious! It made all the difference, it was the teather I needed to make it through to the other side. I will not tell you it was instant, no, it took 4 years to come out of that. I will not tell you Ive never struggled again, I still have to identify it at times and fight. But, I have never started sliding down into that pit again that I didnt identify it and begin to fight back, or at least fight to fight back. I have something to fight for! My family, my faith, and myself. Yes, its a fight, but one worth fighting!!!! So---if you struggle yourself, fight, and when you cannot fight, pray, if you cannot pray-let someone else pray and fight for you but dont give up!!! Theres hope and theres life beyond the pit. And to be honest, when the depression knocks or beats at your door everyday, then one day saying no is awesome. If you cannot say no, then just say Jesus. He is there, even in the pit of depression...He is there and you are NOT ALONE!!!! I do not want you to think if you suffer everyday that anyone has the right to tell you how to survive each day. But you do not have to do it alone! You deserve and need help. And God will help you-each day, each moment. And my friend...she still calls me and says, we need some tea time and when I ring her doorbell she answers with a smile on her face and her arms open wide and she says, You are so loved! Beloved ones, let me say to you....You are SO LOVED!
Posted on: Wed, 13 Aug 2014 03:48:42 +0000
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