Must read: Dead Seriousness News: Pope Benedict XVI Resigns Papacy, Converts to Islam HOLY SEE – In a shocking press conference Sunday, Pope BenedictXVI revealed to the world that he will be stepping down from the Catholic Church’s highest office. “Through prayer and reflection over the past years,” the world’s holiest man began, “I’ve realized that Allah is the one true God.” Amid clattering camera shutters and roaring reporters, Pope Benedict patiently answered questions, citing traditional Muslim folklore as well aspassagesfrom the Qur’an to explain his decision. His session was interrupted only once, when he swiveled South-East to face Mecca,stooped to the ground, and recited the Asr, one of the five daily prayers central to Muslim belief. The startling reversal comes as a shock to many familiar with the Pope’s policies on Islam. “Show me just what Muhammad broughtthat was new and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such ashis command to spread bythe swordthe faith he preached,” the Bishop ofthe Vatican famouslysaid of Islam inhis 2006 lectureFaith, Reason and the University—Memories and Reflections. When asked about the quote, Pope Benedict sighed with good-humoredremorse and chuckled quietly to himself: “Yeah I’ve regretted that forsome time. But I was young and naïve… I see things much clearer now. Besides,I’ve always kinda liked the thought of having a sword. The Cardinals were a real pain on that one.” When asked whether he would bereverting to his born name, Pope Benedict enthusiastically interjected.“I’ve decided to change my name to Sajjad Sayyid Ratzinger,” His Ex-Holiness explained. “I’m keeping my surname purely for logistical reasons, so my Facebook friends and Twitter followers won’t be confused.” His transition hasn’t been withoutopposition. Hours after the press conference, a specialFox and Friendssegment aired on FOXNEWS, featuring a picture of the Pope photoshopped to include stereotypical Islāmic features, including: a turban in place of his mitre, darkened complexion, black hair, and Arabicletters spelling out an endorsement of BarackHusseinObama tattooed across his chest. Beneath the picture, the panel discussed the possible involvement of Pope Benedict XVI, 85, in 9/11. The segment’s title, “The Holy Heathen,” emblazoned the lower leftcorner of the screen. This morning, newspapers nationwide featured an editorial by Bill O’Reilly detailing the parallels between the Pope’s “betrayal of God-loving Christians everywhere” with the “betrayal ofthe American people and the Constitution by Benedict Arnold, his liberal agenda, and his radical left-wing entourage.
Posted on: Fri, 19 Jul 2013 16:29:11 +0000
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