My mind is a battlefield, Crossing my emotions, Like a spider web in the wind. Control is to not confuse, which one is real; Which one to end. Defusing this internal bomb, Constantly ticking, Is not a easy motion; Rather tricky. Stuck in a whirlwind, Between happy, sad, or mad, Makes life difficult for this lad. Some dont understand, Or could not even comprehend.. Its like suffocating under sands Of an uncontrollable nature That will be my burden Till the end. The in-between, My equator, Is my medium. Between the north and south poles, Constant flow of all emotions, Im neither up or down.. Im Bipolar, Manic type 2, This is true.. But this is not me, Or who I am, This is my disease. . A constant conflict, Between the reality, Of this.. and who I really am.. Others confuse this too, But am I to blame? For this disease.. Sometimes it makes me feel lame, These tensions in my membranes, Trying to control me, By the offset chemicals in my brain. My willpower is my key, That weakens these chains, That try to weaken the rest of me.. I use these emotions, Rabid and unsettling.. To give me strength, And control the inner me. This is my secret, The story of me.. Im truly... Always angry, Always Mad, Always happy, And always sad.. I try to use these, To make myself a better me, To take the negative, And make a positive being. But Im a ticking time bomb, That still has no control, When provoked, tested, or teased.. My challenge is those around me, Constantly picking with negativity. Trying to brake my foundation.. With disrespect, And unintelligible misunderstanding.. Of why I am me.. These are the ones I cant control, But I can control me.. The ticking time bomb thing.. Is because others tend to try to break me.. One day.. Im afraid they will succeed.. Till then, I continue my battle, Trying to control the inner me.. This does not depict me, Just the invisible struggles, No ones sees... The bipolar me.. By: Stephen-Christopher Matthew Pacey
Posted on: Fri, 23 Jan 2015 23:12:06 +0000
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