Okay, here it is Monday and I have been hit with the realization that I am filled with a lot of anger issues. I decided today is a good day to start to make peace within myself so I can get back to some serenity and true inner peace within me and my heart! Bob being attacked by some crazy driven person had it all come to a head for me too! I would have rather taken that beating that seeing it inflicted on my husband! Today I woke up early and reflected some on a lot of things and people in my life, people who I love but have allowed anger and resentment situations with them to get inside of me and eat away! I am not going to spend a lot of time today on the computer, I need to get my shit together and work on me, my house and my life! It has a lot of really good things going on in it...despite myself! And I need to feel each and everything running through my head to get past it all! It is funny how some terrible things need to happen to wake us up and deal with life. I need to get back to my journaling, doing a lot of quiet meditation and prayer. Today is where I start. I love who I am today for the most part , I do not see myself as a vengeful and hateful person, but she has appeared for a reason. I feel like that reason deserves some quiet reflection and looking at my part in things too! I know this person who sits here typing is far from perfect but I need to find some inner peace FOR MYSELF and my family! In order for me to truly be the person I once was i need to dig deep within my heart and soul to get past the hurt and pain I felt has been inflicted on me. Some of it intentional and some not. I woke up this morning even before Bob and had that time to start thinking and actually started ripping my kitchen apart and remembered the satisfaction I felt from running a household too that had order and love shining through. Today I am going to work on bringing that back for me and my family. I know it all is not going to all get accomplished in one day, I told Bob this morning that I am not even sure where to start. I set two goals for myself today...working on me....the kitchen and the living room. NONE all that bad, but a good place to start. I could use some prayers for me.....to know when it is time to pull back for the day! Thank you all for being there for the love and support for this past week. It was a traumatic experience, still hard to talk about but it happened for a reason. I have to pull some positive out of it because it could have been a lot worse. Thank you all again! Love you all! Later! Thank you God for all of your blessings in our family and lives!
Posted on: Mon, 27 Oct 2014 12:35:40 +0000
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