One morning traffic was heavy on Jogoo road, so the driver of the bus I was in decided kupitia chuom za huko ndani ndani so that we don’t get late. I was beside myself with joy when he made that decision because I had an early meeting which I could not afford to miss or be late. Somewhere in between the chuoms, there was heavy traffic…….again! I felt like getting out and flying but of course that’s impossible! As I sat there agitated, one passenger started yelling at the driver asking him why he drove off the main road yet the traffic there moved faster than it did kwa chuom. Punde si punde everyone started shouting at the driver ati wao wanapenda kuhepa jam hata saa zile sio mbaya sana! Sasa tulikuwa tumekwama kwa jam place you cannot even get another mat or walk to wherever. In anger, the driver decided to overlap and started speeding on the wrong side of the road. A traffic police appeared from nowhere. We tried squeezing back to the right lane in vain. The private car next to us could hear none of it! Unfortunately, the police got hold of us! Apparently, everyone was late so everyone was shouting and cursing. The police got in the bus and immediately shouted ‘Kila mtu asimame haraka gari imeshikwa!”. Out of anger, we all shot like bullets from our seats clicking and twisting our mouths heading for the exit! Little did we know that it was a trap! The police shouted “Rudini mukae chini, pia nyinyi mumeshikwa! Kama mungekuwa mumefunga seatbelt hamungesimama haraka hivyo. Driver, peleka gari police station” Wuololoreeeee!!! Yaani no one had an excuse. We walked back to our seats cursing! My heart started beating so fast, missing my meeting could cause serious harm to me! Here I was heading to a police station and yet the meeting was going to start in 20 minutes time. I remembered a trick that my sister Maureen Anne Itindi once used when she was caught by kanjo in town talking on phone while crossing the road. I decided to use the trick and see if it could work. The trick is simple, just think of someone who is already dead and kill the person again in your phone call as you fake tears. It could earn you some sympathy and you might be released. Everyone was now back to their seats and people were just mumbling in low tones. The bus had already made a U turn and we were heading to the police station. I pretended that my phone was ringing, picked it up and made sure I was loud enough. “Hallo, Hallo. “Ati nini? Mummy amekufa? Halloooo? Wapi? Nakuja sahii” Everyone turned and looked at me. I could see it in their eyes, they were sorry for me. I tried faking tears as I ‘talked’ on the phone but waaapi! No tears were forthcoming! Instead, I was fighting laughter within me! I swear I felt like bursting out loud! I immediately hung up and buried my face in my palms, sikuwa nataka aibu, lest nipatikane nikicheka. I laughed thoroughly in my palms; I guess people thought I was crying! I then gathered courage and stood up then walked to the police officer. Before I could even reach him, he yelled, “Madam rudi ukae chini na uwache kuua mama yako! Tumeona wengi kama wewe! Hutoki hapa mpaka tumalizane police station” That was it! I swear that was just it! I could not hold my laughter any longer! Nililipua kicheko as I fumbled with my body back to my seat. Suddenly everyone started laughing at me and those who don’t have a sense of humour started yelling at me! Sululu, those people almost swallowed me! Some people even stood by me claiming I was reacting that way out of shock! Ati kuna wenye hucheka instead of kulia when they get sad news! It was now ten minutes to my meeting and the bus was once again stuck in a kasmall traffic. I was seated next to the window. I remembered what I once did before along Haile Selasie avenue when I was in a similar situation in a Rongai bound matatu! I thought, if I managed it that time, I could manage it again today! I pulled the window open and calculated my move!! Within a fraction of a second, I squeezed myself through the window and jumped out! As I jumped, all I heard was some commotion and “Huyo ni mwenye mama yake amekufa ndio ameruka nje?” I landed on my butt!! Ouch! I must say it was painful! I must have miscalculated the height! The other time I had jumped from a mat, it had been a smooth landing. This one was a bit rough! I stood up as fast as I fell down and took off. I was just running to anywhere, bora nisikwame kwa jam. I knew people were looking at me but I cared less, the meeting was in my mind. I managed to get to a house, there are several houses next to the road there. I ran behind it and then started peeping towards the direction of the bus to see if I was being followed. Shock on my eyes!! Everyone was jumping out the windows and taking off at the highest speed. Let’s just say the bus must have gotten to the police station with only the driver, the conductor and those who fear heights! From that day, I stick to matatus, they are safer when it comes to jumping!
Posted on: Mon, 06 Oct 2014 08:09:00 +0000
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