Ouch! by My Google Is Broken: i wonder what the rules are for saying (through the art of improvisational writing) you had your first heart attack when some legal minds have concluded you are literally not allowed to say anything for an extended period of months? a time period after which they will still be allowed to monitor you and decide where you will be housed if they still care. in their weak defense they would probably not agree that THAT is what they decided. i do not want to offend people who have suffered through really serious heart attacks by saying i may have only had a severe panic attack before work a couple of weeks ago. i have told at least one person that it might have been a small heart attack during a private meeting. i call it a quote unquote heart attack because i became paralyzed for a few moments and was not able to call an ambulance or walk to the hospital when i couldnt move. i did not think of screaming for help at the moment and am grateful one of the burners on my stove wasnt on because people besides myself could have died if i did not get back up. at the time i remember two things going through my mind a lot as this incident was ocurring. one was that maybe my best male friend besides myself (survivor) doesnt really care about me. and it felt like a betrayal to think that way. the other was that some kind of magical force was speaking to and/or controlling me. this work of short fiction is not intended to offend anybody. some who read it may not find it funny i suppose. if you are one of those people feel free to give my neighbor or i a call. we are sharing a fake phone plan because we live in poverty. this is also a great unrequited love story. because after i had my first heart attack i got up and went to work. i went because i thought it would be the best thing for my mental health. i went because i love many of the people on our team. i went because i believe in the cause (FREEDOM). and the main reason i went is because i often feel like i am falling in love with one of my co-workers. and im not talking about myself. i have already accepted the fact we may never be a couple. not because i lack confidence. it is my belief that she has made it cleaar that it would be inaapropriate for me to ask her on anything resembling a traditional date. i did figure out a way of telling her how beautiful she was and that she is an inspiration to me. and i have cried in front of her. i never felt like she was judging me either. she did say she has complete faith in me. i treat her like royalty even though i dislike the idea in the traditional sense. and when she wears purple i like to imagine she is doing it for me. merry Christmas to those who are observing. looking forward to taking my last 2100 mgs of Gabapentin so i can get an agreeable body buzz and relax when i am visiting one of my best female friends in the world in a few hours. taking these pills in this specific dosage is legal though i am not going to tell my psychiatrist about it. and i do not recommend it to others. as for the little lady? she asked me to bring the OJ and i feel bad because i burned through my food stamps too fast. i did that because of stress. i admit it. she said it was okay if i wasnt able but i like it when people believe i am relaible and that i really care. i may still be able to accomplish this task. there is a local convenient store that would probably allow me to put it on my tab but i dont like asking for favors from people i am in a strictly professional relationship with even if i consider them friends. so that is nice to know. i have a gift certificate to a local grocery store and redemption center i can use. but id have to spend all 38 dollars of Vague Fears currency at one time if i want to donate the rest to Wayside Food Programs in the form of products they can use in their food pantry. i would have to carry a pretty heavy load around for a spell and be out of the house at about 7am. but i think it is a mission i can accomplish. if this place is open today. i bet they arent but i could be wrong. i will bring a recyclable bag and walk around for a spell if they are closed because that would be a reasonable way to kill time until i meet up with some of the young women im dating at 8 Oclock. im going to shower and shave for this event. i wish i had clean clothing but i did not plan properly. i dont think that i will smell bad though. i hope everyone there enjoys their day off. unless you are working. in which case i hope you enjoy your shift. i also hope you get what you deserve. i am thankful for all the gifts i have recieved for the last 37 or so years and believe whatever doesnt kill you makes you stronger in some sense of the word even if means the best days of your life are behind you. that is a very generous statement directed at anybody who thinks i am talking about them. as well as some of the people who probably wont even read this or understand what i am saying. fair point? several in fact. at least i think so. you be the judge.
Posted on: Thu, 25 Dec 2014 06:28:56 +0000
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