(Pardon the profanity) Im not trying to bum anyone out, I just - TopicsExpress



          

(Pardon the profanity) Im not trying to bum anyone out, I just want to vent. (The peeps I already talked to today, already know) Lately, Ive been feeling like Im taking 2 steps forward...5 steps back. My mind is racing, and I dont even know what its chasing. I know the guys at work notice that Ive been distracted a little more than usual. I think it came to a sort of breaking point this morning. Started the day off angry and well... off. Not just off, but I completely broke down there for a few minutes as I was trying to get ready. It got to the point that I wanted to call in sick. Once I got on the train, it disappeared for a moment, using my music and studying the strangers to calm my tense feelings. It helped. I was almost to work, walking through the trails next to my old place, when I got hit with another bout of overpowering sadness, and an overwhelming feeling of dread, which in turn just pissed me off even more. I had no idea how I was going to make it through the day. I was real close to just asking if I could take the afternoon off. Luckily, I have a close group of friends who keep me in check, and check in on me. Luckily, I also have a great group of coworkers who always make the day go by so much quicker and easier and even enjoyable to work where I do. Luckily, Im still in contact with a bunch of my Brothers and Sisters from back in the day (both in The Corps and my actual family) who constantly remind me that this shit aint easy, but weve been through so much together. Weve been there and done that, and have become someone better because of it. Luckily, I still have a focus and a purpose, that I keep near and dear to my heart. (Literally) Im still feeling a little down, but putting it down like this really makes me realize that I am a lucky man. No. Not really lucky. Just truly blessed. Thats reason enough to make me smile.
Posted on: Wed, 06 Aug 2014 01:22:51 +0000

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