RACHEL HONORED HIERARCHY “Please help me,” she quietly begged. But I couldn’t. Then she died… and along with her something in me died too. _R_ = __Relationships___: Face to face in marriage; shoulder to shoulder with my friends. _A_ = __Authority______: The desire to serve and to lead is the essence of authority and manhood. _C_ = __Conquest______: God has put within every male image-bearer of Himself this chromosome. _H_ = __Hierarchy______: Something within the genes of a man longs to provide for and to protect those under his care. _E_ = ________________: Many women are shame-based in their approach to men. But this is the opposite of shame. _L_ = _______________ : This is palpable to a man. An honoring woman believes in her man more than he believes in himself. Rachel not only understood my propensity to provide for her and to protect her, but like most wives today, she counted on it! That’s why billions of dollars are spent every year on life insurance policies and most of these policies are purchased by men not wanting their wives and children to be left without provision. Yet some in our culture still get all tied up in knots about this. To them equality means sameness. But while sameness may sound nice to some couples, it essentially renders them mutually unnecessary. No wonder our society seems sometimes like a dog chasing its tail… as in the case of our little Sheltie in the back yard with a helicopter circling overhead. He knows that amazing machine is up there doing something significant but he’s not sure what or how to intercept it, and so he runs around in circles barking as loud as he can… looking silly. Arguing against Scripture is just as silly and never gets us anywhere because God is the Author and He knows everything. But in order to benefit from its insight, we need to accept its authority. Ephesians 5 puts forth the model: As men we are pictures of Christ in His sacrifice for us on the cross to protect us from Satan and to provide for our salvation. Women picture the church in responsiveness to Christ’s unconditional love for them. Their reverence for Him is rooted in His sacrifice for them. Marriage then is the honorable privilege to model such love and respect together. Scripture goes on to say in 1 Corinthians 7:28, “If you marry… you will have trouble.” That’s pretty straightforward! Unlike Hollywood, the Bible is very realistic. Marriage is difficult in large part because men and women are so different. In today’s cultural atmosphere women are often offended by the very idea of needing a man to protect them or to provide for them in some way. But as a beautiful model of the church, Rachel keenly felt her dependence upon me as her husband. In fact, the most difficult period of our marriage was when I leaned too much on her for help and she felt the need to protect me. Though she did so valiantly, it made her feel vulnerable and unprotected herself. But those who understand hierarchy get it. They just do. They appreciate the hierarchical nature of men; how they’re driven to serve—even die if needs be. There’s something in our genes that longs to protect and to provide for those in our care. And when that’s missing it’s because it’s been taken from us by someone… somehow… somewhere… sometime or other. The most gut-wrenching part of my wife’s death was that I needed to watch her die—bound to a stretcher… and there was absolutely nothing I could do! I still sometimes wail in the privacy of my own experience, stumbling from chuck-hole to chuck-hole along the sidewalks of Los Angeles, wishing I could somehow turn things around and die for her instead of seeing her die. And every husband would feel the same way! It’s inherent within us. Rachel honored that drive within me to her very last breath when she begged, “Please help me!” She was expecting me to step up to provide for her… to protect her… to deliver her in that most crucial hour. And when I couldn’t, our marriage died.
Posted on: Thu, 24 Jul 2014 11:31:50 +0000
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