RGC #5802 -this is my confession -first of all i really find - TopicsExpress



          

RGC #5802 -this is my confession -first of all i really find this hard 2 talk about, it haunts me everyday, & there isnt a day that goes by where i think about this, it happened many years ago when i was a young fella who didnt know any better @ the time, i made a stupid and foolish mistake @ that time that changed my entire life, in confessing this i know ill get people whol say hurtful & hatred things to me which i totally understand, but i am seeking advice & help & other peoples point of veiw. Please do not judge me, i am a good person who just made a outta lesson decisson. Well here it goes- it all happened about 13 years ago, i was going thru that wanabe gangster phase in life @ the time, an as a young boy growing up i really idolised my older brother, i looked up 2 him, i imitated the way he walked & talk, everything he was i wanted 2 be in life, he taught me eveything i knew, & everything he told me i believed was right & never questioned his word. He was an intimidating figure, i wasnt scared of him but many people were, he is a black-power patch member, anyways, 1day i approached my brother & asked him if i could join the club & prospect for him, prior to me asking i had been hanging around with the club on a weekly basis & began to fall in love with the life-style an everything about it. The rangatira of the club @ the time was a humble guy, he spoke only with knowledge & wisdom that guy, he was whanua co-ordinated which i respected. When i asked my brother, he told me you wont be just under me yourl be under the whole club, i fully understood & took up the challenge. Once i put a shirt on, i felt invincible & protected, i then was willing to do whatever it takes to get my colours, after about 4-5 months prospecting for the club my brother txted me to meet him @ 1 of the brothers pad, i turnt up there and seen the rangatiras holden park up front, i walk inside and the bros were passing around a joint sitting at the table, the prez tells me to pull up a seat, i sit down and salute all the bros with a Yo, @ the table was the bossman the vice prez my brother and 1 of the other bros, my brother said to me weve got some work for you little brother, you keen?i said yeah yo im in whatever it is, then the rangatira turns around & sed were gonna do a hit and nobody but us here sitting @ the table is gonna know about this, not even our club will know just us & it stays like that, i noded my head as if to agree, he went on to say were gonna hit another bro, i thought sum1 in our club but he sed hes a black patchie aswell for another club, the boss dropped his name i knew who the guy was, we all did. He went on to say that he was a police informant & was the reason why our shops were getting busted and our bros were getting locked up, he then later added that he had been told by acouple mongrel mob bros that he set up the big stand-over on our club with the mob that resulted in us loosing afew thousand in the raid against the mob, my head @ the time was filled with hatred to this man, the prez said if i did the hit not only would i be patched by they would give me presidency of the junior chapter, an a future spot as sarg of arms in a years time plus hand me 5 grand in cash. I accepted the deal, and later that night me & my brother met up about 9-10 oclock that evening, me and him went over the plan numerous times untill we had it sused, he then txted up the this guy and told him that we were looking to score a bag, we then were told to meet him outside in the carpark of a pub in the next town over, we met up with him picked him up & drove off heading out of town hitting the back roads, all these roads are familiaas to me, as we drive on my brother steers @ me in his rearveiw mirror as if he was saying theres no turning back now i turn my head an look outside the window, its quiet and dark and all i can remember thinking @ the time is this guy has no idea that hes about to die in the next hour or so, my brother tells him of a spot he knows where they can puff secluded away from the public eye, this other guy is keen as, we then dip our headlights and turn off road an roll down this track slowly i then realise this is the spot this is where its all gonna happen, we pull up flick off the lights and they begin to do there thing, i sit @ the back amping myself up waitting on the signal, my brother gives the the signal after about half an hour of us being there, he ask me do you want a smoke which was the signal, if i sed no i was pulling out and we were gonna bail, an if i sed yes i do then we were still going ahead as planned, i grabbed the smoke & an i remember my brother looking @ me an noding his head @ me as if he was saying hes proud of me, that gave me alittle boost because i was really nervous @ the time, i say im gonna jump out for a smoke, i then walk around the back of the car reach underneath an grab the pistol wea it was taped too, i stand up light my ciggy, an take a deep breath, i remember looking to sky thinking god forgive me, i then hide the hand gun behind my back an give my brother the signal that i have it, i tap on the boot he exits the vehicle i walk to the passengers, point the pistol @ the guy & tell him to get out @ 1st i remember him thinking it was all a joke untill he realised the seriousness, he hopped out the car, & i tld him of everything we knew as we expected he denied everything, my brother then said the words i can still hear in my head today do it yo do it i shot him twice in the chest, he fell and we realised he was still breathing, i thought this must be a sign, gods giving me a 2nd chance. Then my brother sed finish him hes still breathing kill the traitor, i hesitated for about a minute and shot him in the head killing him instantly, he then dragged his body afew metres away, my brother pulls off this tarp which was consealed with twigs an leaves, after we pull it off i see a hole about 6 feet deep, we roll his body in cover it up and leave, i left the black-power that following week, and the rangtira @ the time retired 2 months later, i spoke with him when he left the club & he apologised for making me do such a crime, the new prez offered me sarg straight away i turnt it down. I now go to church an do not socialise in any way shape or form with gangs, i am currently working as a youth worker, & help out with delivering food to people who need that extra help, but i still feel guilty for what i did i am now a father, and my veiw on life has changed dranaticaly. Noman should die like that ever, or deserve to be killed in such an evil heartless way, i pray to god everynight for forgiveness, and every fortnight i visit the deceased and pay my respects, sometimes i will take my guitar up there & sing maori songs, ive never missed a visit since the incident, what can i do??? Help.
Posted on: Mon, 04 Nov 2013 03:38:04 +0000

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