Remember that when you share anything about your own feelings or issues, there are many who will view this act of revealing your private feelings and thoughts as some kind of submission behavior or attention seeking behavior. This is mostly because they use speech as social display (picture a dog laying on its back, showing its vulnerable tummy) instead of information sharing, so they assume thats what youre doing as well. So, if they have any type of domination issues, they may view your private-information-sharing as an opportunity to feel dominant (the dog who is standing over the other dog who is showing their tummy), and may commence with personal criticisms toward you. To them, you just opened the door and invited them to assess and critique you as a person. Of course this is not appropriate behavior, and inviting them to assess you and criticize you is almost certainly not your intention, but those who use speech as social displays will often interpret anything and everything that others say as such (as some kind of social display), and will usually project their own meaning onto this supposed display. (The dog showing its belly is not just showing submission, its a gesture of peace, lets be friends, and Im not going to attack you, but a dog that has domination issues will probably only see it as submission.) Humans have spoken language that enables them to communicate OUTSIDE OF social displays, noises, and bodily gestures, but MANY do not separate spoken or written language from these other types of communication, and will interpret ALL types of communication within the more primal parameters, and quite often get it completely wrong. To be clear, however, those with dominance/control issues often share THEIR feelings and issues as some sort of instruction or command. For example I love my cats so much may not simply be a statement, but some kind of instructional or shaming tactic... YOU should love cats, or love their cats, or make their cats a priority in your life. So they may also be interpreting your statements in the same way, like thats what youre doing, giving instruction or making demands with your statements about your feelings or point of view. Cant change how they are, can just learn about it and change how we interact with them.
Posted on: Thu, 25 Dec 2014 16:29:38 +0000
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