Resolve Family conflicts :- Conflict is the single biggest characteristic of couples who come to marital counselors. Each partner wants to get the specific answer to a particular issue about which they disagree. When they get an answer on that issue, they will want another, and another, and another. Although partners ask counselors for answers to their conflicts, the partners do not really want answers. They want affirmation. Each partner wants the counselors to decide that the partner is right. Both the partners feel devalued and unloved. They want to wrest value from winning the conflict. They want to put the counselor in the role of value-giver. Do not blame couple’s referee. If you do you won’t be able to please them both; even if you could you’d be necessary as their validator forever. You do not have to resolve a couple’s conflicts. Instead teach them how to resolve their conflicts themselves. a) When couples are in conflict, they don’t value each other. Help them value each other even when they are disagreeing. b) When couples are in conflict, they are interested in their own agenda, not in listening to their partner. Help them slow down and listen to each other. c) When couples are in conflict, they are so interested in making their points that they don’t check out misunderstandings. Help them explore misunderstandings and straighten them out. d) When couples are in conflict, they don’t want to compromise. They want to win. They want to prove that their position is best. Help them learn strategy by which both can win. .......Like or Share your views, since among Husband and wife, there is no Win and Lose Technic or strategy. Whether lose or win it belongs to both and their family. The conflict should not affect their family and children. "Love is patient. Love is kind." “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.” Philippians 4:6
Posted on: Fri, 02 Aug 2013 11:12:37 +0000
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