Responsibility To Sadness - thoughts by Julia L. R. I want to state first of all that I havent done much scientific reading on the subject of sadness or depression, or taken any classes in psychology. These are merely my thoughts and comments based on experience and observation. My opinions. Many of us live with sadness every day. Its a part of our being, awakened by loss. It could be the loss of one thing or several: The loss of people we love or even those we never knew. The loss of innocence. The loss of peace and feelings of safety. Sometimes these things slip away softly, leaving a gradual arc of bewildered feelings and a hazy sense of heaviness in their wake. Other times, they are yanked away so cruelly that for a time, nearly our every breath seems vibrant and bright with pain. Depending on the degree of impact the sadness has on us, (And I say the sadness, not the event that caused it, because some it seems can be very affected by an event and yet not be left with noticeable lasting repercussions) sadness can seem to become a constant element of a person. An ever-present part of their psyche. Another of multiple lenses through which life is viewed, coloring ever so faintly everything that person experiences. It can be a strangely comfortable, if melancholy, companion. Something which reminds us of our individuality, what we have experienced. Sets us apart from what we perceive more or I suspect, less truthfully, as the the carefree masses. But sometimes it makes us feel old. Perhaps treading the same ground over, and over, and over in our subconscious every time the sadness reminds us of its presence is the cause. At any rate, it is there. Now, here is the gist of my subject: the feeling of responsibility to sadness. Sometimes, in moments of happiness, the feeling of sadness drops away briefly and we forget ourselves, caught up in the moment of laughter, fun, and gaiety. For some, this is an easy and natural transition, and when the moment passes they feel no guilt. For others, there is a nameless unease for this departure, and they abruptly slip back under the sadness with a pang. If they dont analyze this feeling, they are not likely to understand what has happened. They have developed a sense of responsibility to sadness. However subconsciously, they reason that to come out from under the lens of sadness, they are not being true to themselves. Not respecting, if not utterly denying, the circumstance that brought the sadness and the effect to which it altered them. This is especially true if it was caused by the loss of a family member or close friend, or a traumatic experience to the persons own self. I want to say something firmly: You have no responsibility to sadness. It is true that it will always be a part of you in this life, until you pass into heaven or hell. But it is not your job to serve it. Even your friends do not expect your presence constantly, and neither does sadness. Neither does the loss that caused it. You may be its companion when you wish, and sometimes when you dont wish, but when you are done with your visit or reminisce, you may be done until your next visit without guilt. You are not denying what youve been through. You are not denying the changes or growth that it has caused you. Not denying the specialness of someone youve lost and the love you had for them. You have responsibility to what you learn, people you know, to God, and to yourself. But. . . You have no responsibility to sadness.
Posted on: Wed, 13 Aug 2014 18:36:09 +0000
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