SECRETS OF HEALTHY MARITAL LIFE Most men have a hard time understanding women. Even a woman they’ve been married to for years. One minute she’s perfectly fine, the next, she’s crying like a baby. She complains about something but when we offer advice on how to fix it, she still isn’t satisfied. After several years of marriage (and counseling) I’ve learned to not worry so much about what my wife says. Instead, I should worry about what she doesn’t say. Above all, she wants your love When a wife shows her husband less respect, he in turn shows her less love. And when a husband shows his wife less love, she in turn shows him less respect. And the vicious cycle repeats itself. Stop this prophecy before it becomes self-fulfilling. Show love to your wife. That’s what she wants. Love her despite her flaws and quirks. And Inshallah, she’ll respect you despite your flaws and quirks. She’s bored It’s the same thing every day. Week in and week out. Not only is she bored but she’s also tired. She has to care for the kids and run the household and then pamper you. Just thinking about doing that every day makes me want to crawl under my covers and hide. I can imagine how the average Muslim housewife must feel. And let’s not forget about working woman. Many Muslim women have to work a full time job as well as hold a house down. So brothers, I implore you, make your wife feel special. Give her a break. Take her out sometimes. Surprise her with a surprise meal. Bring her favorite desert home. Just do something every now and then to break the monotony. She wants to be complimented Appreciation. Everybody wants it. No one wants to feel as if the hard work they do goes unnoticed or even worse, it taken for granted. Your wife does not have to clean your dirty clothes. And she does not have to cook your meals. But she does. And she does that on top of all the other things in her life: Caring for the kids. Working or going to school. Striving to be a better Muslimah. Show your Muslim wife that you appreciate and are thankful for the things she does to maintain you and your family. A simple “thank you” is a good start. She’s insanely jealous There’s a reason most women don’t care for polygamy. Be very careful how you talk about other women around your wife. Don’t ever compare your wife to another woman. Don’t compare her to some female movie star. Don’t compare her to your mother. Never, ever compare her to your ex-wife (or other wife!) She’s wants to know and believe that she is the centre of your universe. So make her feel that way. Even the Prophet’s (pbuh) wives got jealous. Aisha (RA) got jealous of Khadijah (RA) who was dead. Expect, and respect, the same type of jealousy from your wife. She wants you to help her become a better Muslimah I can’t stress enough the importance of men taking the role of leader within their families. And that’s the problem with a lot of Muslim men these days. Not only are they not being good leaders, they’re being led by their wives (or mothers, or other women in their lives). Your wife desires and wants you to be her leader. And what better way to lead her than to be show her how to be a better Muslimah? But you can’t show her how to become better if you’re not that great either. Therefore, you have to upgrade your Iman. You have to improve yourself and then pass it on to her in a gentle, respectful way. She doesn’t like to nag, but sometimes you make it hard It’s a common myth that women like to nag their husbands. That’s not entirely true. Yes, there are some people (men and women) whom you can never please. No matter what you do, they’ll always find fault in something.
Posted on: Tue, 17 Sep 2013 12:11:58 +0000
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