Scarred for life… We’ve heard that expression, though, most of us never fully understood how that could be possible. Loss is like no other experience I’ve lived through. Finding a way to deal with it was the hardest part. Was I overreacting to Will’s death? Did I really need to hurt for a full year or longer? How do I move forward when all I want is to have my old life back? Loss had me questioning who I was! What a beast grief is… First of all, following loss, there are too many cooks in the kitchen. We know what we feel. Our heart makes us ache, yearn, and cry. So, why do we need others to tell us what to do and how to do it? Why can’t we find support in a silent presence while we express our sorrow through words and tears without being forced to suck it up and behave ourselves? Humanity needs a reality check! For me, I indeed cried around others, and learned who I could depend on to let me release my pain and who I could not. However, feeling forced to pull out my ‘happy’ mask each time I was in the company of someone who couldn’t tolerate my sadness got old. Basically, I withdrew from the relationships of those who couldn’t bear to let me be me…the new me…the one that felt broken and tossed aside by life itself. What I learned on my journey of being alone was that I could actually be alone – and enjoy that time where I could be in touch with my emotions, rebuild some of my hopes and dreams, and eventually communicate with me Creator [after I was finished being mad], and finding my strengths and ability to believe in myself. It took alone time for me to find courage to climb my mountain on my own. And each day I trekked a little further, I could see I was ascending, and one day when I looked back – the view amazed me. I had gone so far all by myself. Tears and all. No one helped me, no one stopped me – the only credit for my journey of healing was to be given to me for pursuing the dreams I could still imagine achieving. Feeling alone on your trek? Find a way to like it and the person you’re alone with. Once you do that – you will see the world at your fingertips. And you will find abundant energy to make your life phenomenal! Yes, it is possible even after loss. I’m living it – simply because I put my mind into doing so. And though, tears surface due to triggers and scars…I’m opening the door to life every day so I can see the gift that it is meant to be. Imagination and willingness is the key. Start slow, get your feet wet, and one day you’ll be soaring through the life you create after loss.
Posted on: Tue, 18 Mar 2014 21:00:01 +0000
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