Since we are hams after all, lets discuss Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, hes a maverick! BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period. JOHN McCAIN: My friends, the chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road. HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road? GEORGE W. BUSH: We dont really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here. VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY: Wheres my gun? BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. AL GORE: I invented the chicken. JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chickens intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it. AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? BUBBA GUMP: You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. Deys uh, chicken-kabobs, chicken creole, chicken gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. Theres pineapple chicken, lemon chicken, coconut chicken, pepper chicken, chicken soup, chicken stew, chicken salad, chicken and potatoes, chicken burger, chicken sandwich. That- thats about it. DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken wont realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems. ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road. NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because hes guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks. PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American. MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmers Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information. DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed Ive not been told. ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone. GRANDPA: In my day we didnt ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. BARBARA WALTERS: Isnt that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road. ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2014, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2014. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot. ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken? NRA: If you outlaw chickens, only outlaws will have chickens. COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
Posted on: Sat, 11 Oct 2014 03:56:01 +0000
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