So I have came to understand myself a bit more over the past few - TopicsExpress



          

So I have came to understand myself a bit more over the past few days (well really over my whole life) and I have started to realize something about myself. I am an artistic person, this I have always known. I was drawing since I could hold a pencil. My grandma taught me how to sew and crochet (and more!) when I was barely older than 4, maybe younger. My parents always supported me, and I always looked up to my dad, who was also an artist. My grandpa used to buy/make me canvases for me to paint on. My creative side has always been my primary characteristic, and it was definitely nurtured. I have started to realize that I weigh on this side of me heavily when it comes to coping with stress. My hands always have to be moving or I get anxious and stressed. For this reason I cant just sit down and read a book, or watch TV or a movie. I just cant do it. I always have something in my hands, be it a pencil or crochet hook. Its my coping mechanism. Its who I am and I couldnt live without it. Its my form of crying or curling up in a ball when I need to deal with my thoughts. To me, art is mindless, its something that just happens. I cant force it. Its just how I manage the thoughts in my brain. Sometimes something neat, wonderful, or beautiful comes out of it, a lot of other times, it doesnt produce anything more than scribbles or testing new methods that dont always work out. This is the reason I really couldnt have a job doing art, because having a job would imply having deadlines, or actually stressing about producing something of quality. Its that lack of stress that allows me to occasionally produce something I love. Because thats what my art and crafting are to me: relief from the stress from my life. Its my way to get away from the worries of the world around me. Thats also why Im really stingy about selling or giving away my art, because as I make something, I am quite literally pouring all the emotions from my heart into it, so I almost always become very attached to everything I make, from my larger finished pieces, to even my scribbles. I keep EVERYTHING I draw, and most everything else I create. If you have something that I have created, you literally have a piece of my soul. Literally. My heart goes into everything I make. I think what means the most to me, is the person who now carries a tattoo of a piece I drew just for him. Thank you, Dano. You have always been one of my very best friends. I hope to see you someday soon. Gosh that piece is so old now. I could draw it 100x better now. https://facebook/photo.php?fbid=2185511202704&set=a.1317938473928.2048201.1394740784&type=3&src=https%3A%2F%2Ffbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net%2Fhphotos-ak-xfp1%2Ft31.0-8%2F257597_2185511202704_2865578_o.jpg&smallsrc=https%3A%2F%2Ffbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net%2Fhphotos-ak-frc3%2Ft1.0-9%2F270165_2185511202704_2865578_n.jpg&size=980%2C1680
Posted on: Thu, 17 Jul 2014 06:50:57 +0000

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