So tonight the anxiety sets it. Eats my heart away...The thought of having to hand my lil man over to doctors and hope that he comes back the same way I sent him in but better:( After so many times you would think that it gets easier but in fact it gets harder and harder. Now that he is older and can tell me that he is scared and ask me a ton of questions about his battle makes my heart break into 2. No one truly gets it unless you have been here with your child. To know so many sad stories of childrens lives being robbed by this monster that also has tried endlessly to take my sons makes me grateful he is still with me. 7 long years of ups and downs. Today his neurologist pulled out a packet of papers and said his procedure/surgery list is 8 pages long. This is impressive for such a little guy. Proves how strong he truly is. Tonight I know I wont sleep much. I will lay next to him touch him, kiss him, and tell him how much I love him. Ill whisper in his ear to fight hard, to be strong, and that I will never leave his side. Tomorrow I will get up with nothing but smiles no matter how bad I want to scream and cry. I will kiss him some more and we will talk about all the fun things we are going to do when he is well enough. We will laugh and he will take the funny juice. They will take him from me and I will wait a long time to see him again. But never will I let him see my fear. He fights to hard for me to let him down. I LOVE all the support and prayers and love this lil guy gets from this page. Thank you all for the continued inspiration you give our little family. xoxo
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 04:16:36 +0000
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