**The Republican Parables** Kermit the Truck needed some gas. Kermit is a one-owner, low mileage, green,16 year old Ford F-150. But never mind Kermit. I was pulling up to one of QuikTrip’s 16 gas pumps when I spotted my Republican neighbor putting gas in his Beemer 6 series sedan. He spotted me. “Howdy neighbor,” he smiled and shouted. I said, “Howdy.” He said, “Can you believe the price of this gas?” We were both watching the pump rack up our bill on the debit card. As most of you know, my neighbor is a Republican moron. I try to avoid him since I’m a thoughtful, progressive liberal. “When are they going to finish that Keystone pipeline,” he said, “so this gas will get a lot cheaper.” See what I mean by “moron” I said, “Harvey,” his name is Harvey, “The Keystone Pipeline XL, if they ever get it built from Alberta, Canada, to Steel City, Nebraska, will not make gas cheaper. It will make gas more profitable for TransCanada Corporation.” “You just don’t like free markets,” Harvey said. I responded, squeezing the pump handle, passing the 50 dollar mark, “What does building 1200 miles of Pipeline across the American landscape, which is environmentally dangerous, and which offers no benefit to the American people, have to do with a free market?” I finished with, “Is buying politicians a feature of free markets?” Harvey has a short fuse. His face was getting red. He pulled the pump nozzle out of his car and pointed it toward Canada. The gas was spewing out of the nozzle toward Canada. “They got more oil up there in Canada than Saudi Arabia!” he shouted. There was a good sized puddle of gas on the ground before he stopped squeezing the pump handle. I saw an QT attendant come running out. I shut off my pump at $72 and got the hell out of there.
Posted on: Sat, 15 Jun 2013 11:21:21 +0000
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