This is Becky Vickys twin sister I would like to start off earlier that day Vicky had called me like we usually did every day and we were excited talking about buying our dresses for my wedding she was going to be my maid of honor and we were going to buy them the following day, she then told me she was going out to lunch with her girls and I decided to invite myself, she agreed and said she would come pick me up. Her oldest son was in school at the time and she came over with her youngest son he was the same age as my daughter and wanted to stay and play with her so she agreed and my fiance said that he would watch them. Now this is where I feel responsible and felt like if I had not asked to go to lunch with her she might still be alive, you see my fiance and sidney did not get along he was always envious of my fiance because he was such a genuine guy and because of that everyone loved him and got along with him. So thinking nothing of it we went to lunch at Olive Garden and him discovering this information sidney became enraged he called Vicky and argued with her and he started calling her all sorts of obscenities at this point she got up from the table and walked away because she was embarrassed because everybody could hear him screaming through the phone, she then returned about 15 minutes later n enjoyed her lunch with us, 1st red flag she had tolerated this behavior for so long she was used to it and shrugged it off thinking he will get over it, sidney did not get over it! I began talking to my sister I begged her to leave sidney I told her she deserves better someone Like I found someone who would love her and treat her as she should be treated, she told me she wouldnt leave sidney until the kids were of age because she wanted two parents in the home. we then changed the subject and started to laugh and have a different conversation and I took what I had no idea would be the last picture I would ever take with my sister. She then drop me off we begin to get ready for school we prepare dinner for our families, our lunchs for school, and put on our uniforms. She then with sidney dropped off her two oldest children, which were not his children, to my mother she lives in the same apartments as me, she would drop them off to her regularly because of his violent nature and he would be unfair to them, second red flag, then they came and picked me up, and he dropped us off at school. We had a somewhat usual night at school that night except for the fact that during lunch he called Vicky and wanted to come pick her up and drop off the car with her which was his excuse because he didnt want the two younger children to be brought out late at night when hed have to pick us up at 10:00, but any other night that didnt seem to bother him. Im going to stop there and this might be an assumption, but I believe what sid had planned for my sister later that night he had planned to do then had she agreed. Remember the two oldest children who were witnesses would not have be there they were at my mothers and only the two younger children were there with him, which I think he was planning on leaving with them after taking my sisters life. Anyways back to the story we finished our lunch and finish the night off at school sidney then came to pick us up I was already preparing myself to hear him screaming at her cussing at her so I had my earbuds out I was going to listen to music but instead of his normal behavior there was an eerie silence about him he didnt yell didnt say anything to her he didnt talk to me, that was the 3rd red flag, I should have known something was wrong then but we were so tired we were ready to just go home. So they dropped me off I said what would be my last goodbye to my sister, went upstairs changed and ate my dinner my fiance and now husband made me and, I got that call that call no one wants to ever get it was my niece Andrea she called me frantically crying saying he shot her he shot my mom and then dial tone....... what I didnt know is that the police had grabbed the phone from her and hung up.So without knowing she was OK or being able to give me details I was left with uncertainty. I began to panic I ran in my night dress to my mothers apartment which was about 5 apartment buildings down and started to bang on her door and I was hoping she would wake up and be responsive knowing that she had surgery earlier that day she gradually came to the door and Was groggy. I began to cry seeing her and was breathing heavy from running and was trying to get out to her we have to go Vickys in trouble we have to go she asked me whats wrong not understanding me are u ok I said yes Im ok mom its Vicky sidney did something to her we have to go now so we left ....... my mom finished the rest of the story from that point on, but my point is simple yet important they were red flags all around us pay attention to them had she stopped tolerating that abuse she would be alive today my sister wasnt being beaten everyday she was verbally abused and mentally abused and had she stopped tolerating that behavior she could have saved herself there easily could have been five deaths that night but by the grace of God there was only one thanks to Andreas bravery my nieces and nephews made it out alive but unfortunately it was by the death of my sister, how long will you take the abuse tolerate and suffer you have to see the red flags and you have to get out stop making excuses thinking he or she might change or I want to have two parents in the home but what kind of parents are you putting in your childs life it must stop now we need to stop the violence and start the healing you can make a difference. you can change that situation by running by leaving by getting away by not tolerating inappropriate behavior I know now that is not my fault that even if it hadnt happened that night sidney would eventually taken my sisters life because she never plan to leave it might have been a different situation but it was a control thing it would have happened regardless, so please if youre reading this and you are in this violent type of situation and are receiving this type of abuse pay attention you have red flags all around you listen to your gut feeling and get away for the sake of you and for the sake of your children.
Posted on: Sat, 31 May 2014 19:16:15 +0000
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