To whoever is apparently running northern rail. I apologise if - TopicsExpress



          

To whoever is apparently running northern rail. I apologise if this email disturbs you from sitting on your golden toilet, wiping your arse with commuters tenners. & i assume its not even an eco friendly one sheet wipe, but many, many plies to clean your incapable fat behind. I picture you as a rather large man, maybe sporting a moustache, with an extremely talented grasp of Candy crush and angry birds. After all, what else are you doing with your day? I dont honestly know how to get your attention, as i suppose you receive countless complaints a day. But, as my mother has always taught me, God loves a trier, and dont eat yellow snow. so here we go again. Mr Northern Rail, have you ever seen a train? A train is a wonderful thing, a beautiful timeless method of transport to be enjoyed by all. The Hogwarts Express for example. Now, i dont expect to be greeted by a blossoming Hermione or even a magical world, but just a seat. Yes, somewhere to perch while i breath in the smell of piss for 80 minutes a day. At £906 a year, that would be wonderful. The novelty of pressing up against an unwashed morbidly obese man has now worn off. Ok, so i have expressed my concern about our seating arrangement. Now please explain to me if youve ever heard of the commonly used word TIME. Time is a wonderful thing, ever ticking by. Therefore working people like myself enjoy to get home each night at a reasonable hour. I wont lie to you Mr Rail, getting TO work doesnt bother me so much, i can handle with being a little late. But when its Monday Shepherds Pie night and Im still sat wearily in the station, we then have a problem. Very recently, over the tannoy, the announcement was raised. SERVICE CANCELLED DUE TO LACK OF DRIVERS. Now, Im no expert, but i assume you have a back up plan if Trevor has had a bad curry and cant make it in? If not, get one, thats free advice. Please can you respond to this (in all seriousness) with the exact amount of times from October 2013 to date, the service has been on time between MCV & LTL, between the hours of 7.45 - 8.19 am, & 17.00 - 17.25 PM If i see double figures Ill buy a hat, and eat it. So as a service provider you surely proud yourselves on comfort and punctuality, both of which you suck at harder than that poor girl caught on camera in Magaluf. Now then, whats left? SAFETY... Well in short, A couple of months back i had to evacuate the train at Castleton because IT SET ON FIRE. ive not been able to roast a marshmallow since. Please ask one of your many butlers to respond to this. I would appreciate it if you addressed me as the cul dawg. My alter ego is apparently much more likeable. Kind regards, The Cul-Dawg
Posted on: Tue, 11 Nov 2014 17:04:57 +0000

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